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Friday, April 03, 2009

HoNeYmOoN TrAvELs And MoRe!



Awhile ago, the BF and I were out for dinner with friends. Single, unmarried friends. As always, the talk turned to marriage [I know, I'm full of it right now.] and the partial loss of individual freedom that comes as a downside to married life. They each said they wanted to do things, visit places before they got "Tied Down."

I remember feeling that way. Especially since the only tourist spots I've been to ever, is Hong Kong and that too since Dad was posted there and we were given 3 months school vacation due to the gulf war. [1989]. And a 5 day trip to Kerala in college. My better half has been around with his family. Thats something I've always wanted to do...And I mentioned my feelings to the BF in the initial days of our courtship...I said I wanted to go places, and he said " I want to be the one to take you to those places. Won't you have more fun with me around? I'll take care of you...I want to show you all kinds of fascinating things..."

That was the sweetest thing and I've never ever felt that I'd be tied down by marriage since he said this. I don't have a clue who the couple in this picture is, but they sure do look happy together. And He was right...with him taking care of me and showing me all over, I wont have to worry about things like keeping the tickets ready, not losing things, hotel reservations, carrying the lugguage etc...[I can see to other things]. But the point is, Two's company!

Admittedly we also decided that we'd give each other freedom for boy's/girl's nights out. Or for biking trips across the country with "guy" friends. That's ok too. As long as we manage to spend quality time together and with the family too. Everyone needs downtime. Too much time in each other's company can just drive one nuts eventually. Plus we'll need new things to talk about! Freedom...it's important. No doubt once kids arrive, and other family obligations too increase exponentially post marriage, we get tied down, a lot. But it's important to make time for yourself, alone and as a couple...otherwise you, and you both, will get lost and exhausted and will one day look in the mirror and not recognize yourself.

12 lost souls found themselves in my mirror....:

Solilo said...

Yes! freedom is important and also important is to keep a little space for yourself. Marriage and motherhood later ties you down but still couple of moments for just yourself refreshes you. I totally believe in that :)

Crafty Shines said...

cheers to u n ur better half. its great to have that respect for personal space, without which as u said, u cannot recognize what u've turned into.
:) wish u both a very happy future

coffeeismypoison said...

@Solilo : I'm guessing you speak from experience! Sometimes I worry that sooner or later it becomes all about getting a few moments to yourself AWAY from ur family including ur husband... :(

@Craftyshines: Thanks! Hope we remain as smart after we actually marry!

Maverick said...

A very sane view of looking at a relationships and wat goes into making it work! Beautifully put forward point of view dat i totally agree with! A relationship brings with itself a boundary...a limit....set by responsibilities ....but to hav freedom within dose boundaries is da key to a happy life!
luvd dis piece! will bac fr more! :)

Pretty Me!! said...

congrats for finding such better half BF !! really well written .. i agree to most of the points mentioned here :)

coffeeismypoison said...

@Maverick: Glad you liked it and so glad u visited and will visit again! The sane part of him n me is Him!

@Pretty ME: I know I totally lucked out. Hes pretty perfect. now if only he liked to READ!

ruSh.Me said...

We have decided to go to Goa, Laddakh, Sikkim, Bhutan, New Zealand....

As per of individual freedom, obviously trips back home are important, we visit our friends in Mumbai every other month....so its a nice balance maintained!! :D

coffeeismypoison said...

@Rush.me : Excellent! We've decided to go someplace with snow, goa, antartica and paris! But i guess thats after marriage :o( so have to wait.
Personally I'd love to go someplace where its the norm to be openly romantic. if u know what i mean!

Sumit said...

All those travels aside. Go visit places without the BF, possible with friends. Its a different kind of fun which I advocate everyone to experience. The joy of discovering places with friends is irreplaceable. You shall have a lifetime to tour around with your guy. It won't be so in case of friends.
And perhaps the phrase "Tied Down" refers to the whole bunch of responsibilities that come along with a marriage. After all to love someone and two live with someone are different stories, not necessarily mutually exclusive though. :)
Good luck, have a great, happy and glove-trotting life, the way you want :)

Satans Darling™ said...

I completely agree with Sumit above! As for my views, read my reply on your comment on my latest post! :)

CoFfEe AnGeL said...

I agree with him too :)

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