Monday, July 27, 2009

Do you Believe in heaven?

"Do you believe in heaven honey?"

"Sure...Not sure what it is exactly though..."

"What's your idea of heaven?"

"Hmm...I think it's where we are at peace after we die you know? A place of justice, joy and rest after all this toil on earth. What about you sweety? I know You wouldn't ask unless your non stop working mind already had an answer ready..."

"Silly man. Silly but smart. Yeah...I've been thinking about it awhile...", I was lost in thought again...

"Lost world...tell me...", he said squeezing me gently.

"Well...I think heaven is moments..."


" this moment...When we're in each other's arms, at peace with each other and talking about heaven."

"ok...and...go on...", he prodded.

"It's when I apologize to my father for yelling at him, tell him I love him and never ever meant to hurt him...and him saying it's ok...just think before you get angry or shout next time."

"You apologized? I'm so proud. Thank you. " He said kissing my cheek.

"Well it was easier over googletalk...", I grimaced, ashamed of myself.

"'s always hard admitting one is wrong. I know you can't live without your parents talking to you. What else...heaven I mean..."

"Well...there's raindrops tapping on my window...or watching a stormy sea with the rain creating ripples in the green blue water..."

"Sounds heavenly..."

"Add some hot coffee and conversation to it..."


"You eating so much, and so heartily...whatever I cook for you...that you have to undo your jean's button..."

"Well you rock the kitchen!"

"Only for you babe. And mom and my sister too...Dad doesn't notice so much..."

"Tell me more..."

"Well there's the times my sister talks to me like we used to before time, age, ego and people came between us. When she hugs me if I'm crying or takes my side because no one else is getting me... when we're sister's again...those moments."

Squeeze squeeze squeeze. "She'll come around...she loves you too..."

"It's when you say the right things at the right time...which is not often...but eventually you do...and those moments make me feel everything is going to be fine, instantly."

"I know...sometimes I don't get what to say when...I'm sorry hon."

"But when you do say something, later, you're right."

"You're just biased. You get angry and now you say you like it."

"Well you're're not smooth, you're human."

"What else?"

"I think it's heavenly that there's someone on earth I actually trust. And I know...I've taken forever to...get down to it...Longer than most people do...but I trust you...and you've proved yourself...time and again..."

"You are a toughie..."

"I think it's heavenly that even if you don't understand my point of view about something, you listen, you do I...I think it's amazing that we think alike on so many points...and I think we have enough difference to keep the relationship lively.'

"You must be referring to our fights!"

"Well yeah...and I think the part when we make up...that's heavenly too."

"Go on..."

"I think it's heaven when a patient comes in severe pain, in the middle of the night and I give them medication, and literally watch their pain disappear...and their amazement...that moment when they feel relief is heavenly..."

"Always the chubby doc."

"I think it's heavenly when my dog greets me at the door every morning...or the way she looks into my eyes with pure love...and loyalty. I love how , when I'm around , she doesn't listen to anyone else...doesn't have eyes like anyone else..."

"Hey I do that too...but discreetly!"

"I know...those moments I catch you looking at me...heaven...You asking me to make you my perfect drinking it, looking at me, nodding to indicate it's good...heaven. point is...heaven is right here...all around us...!! We just miss it..."

"I wish I was as good at expressing my thoughts as you. How did you end up with a lallu like me?"

"You may not be as good at words, but you are part of my heaven...You are my heaven."

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Does a Picture really speak?

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. I don't know about all that, but I would like to find out :o) These here are two pictures of me. [DUH]. Give me 5 words to describe them/it, the person you see in it. Read the other's words and don't repeat. Be original, after all, man has more than one facet and a woman more than a hundred [Ok, so I made that up.]. You're all writers, bloggers...Use your adjectives ;o)


Well, these are probably the most honest pics of me ever, without thinking, without posing, and at a time when I'm trying my level best to become better...I need to know how I am right now, from the perspective of an objective outsider.

Monday, July 13, 2009

The road not taken indeed.

This post is in fact a reply to Solilo's post here.

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

-Robert Frost, The road not taken.

I took the road less travelled by in my life. In fact I'm currently on its rocky path... It's not easy... I didn't know it would be this hard, but had I known also, I would still have taken it, because it's the only way to grow. To achieve one's highest potential...its the only way.

And it's a long road,

It's often lonely...but you learn to be your own best friend.
It's rocky but that only makes you overcome obstacles.

It's twisted but that only makes you realise that honesty and straight-forwardness are the easiest way to go.
It's scary, but that only makes you more and more fearless in all your doings, makes you brave enought to stand up for whats right. For yourself and for someone who isn't as brave.

It's got potholes in it...a lot of potholes, but they only serve to make you more resourceful and have faith, that where there is a pothole, there's also a ladder nearby to climb out of it.

There maybe a few like minded travellers out there, and they will pull you along when you get tired, they will remind you, how amazing it feels, to make it, all on your own.

Yes, for all its pain, the road less travelled is the only one worth taking...

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Breakfast in five!

So my better half came home on his way back from work. So I made him breakfast in five mins... as part of a series of Quick 'n Easy recipes on my blog, I'm here to provide this too.

Scrambled Eggs on Toast :

Ingredients :

5 eggs
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste
Cream- 2 tablespoons
Skim Milk - 1/4th cup

Method :

Use a non stick pan.
heat pan first
add small amounts of butter.
let butter fizz and bubbles form.
meanwhile you should have popped bread into the toaster.
And begin beating the eggs, salt and pepper in a bowl with a fork.
When the butter is hot and eggs are beaten , add the eggs to the pan.
watch the base of the eggs. When they start solidifying, push the eggs from the edge to the centre in a straight motion. keep pushing eggs this way. when they are half cooked, add the cream, push eggs around again and then add the milk. let cook on low-medium flame.
by now the bread should have popped out, cut, spread butter.
Add the slightly moist or dry now [as per your taste[ on top of the bread and sprinkle pepper and serve~!
Tastes best with piping hot coffee :)

Thursday, July 09, 2009

The Women who give the good ones a bad name.

There are these women I know. And then there are these simple men.

These women I know entice these men. Ensure them that they cannot be the same, even whole, without them. They talk sensuously and sexily. They throw in numerous innuendoes, fling around the three most sacred words in the history of humankind... I love you.

To some guys, these three words make their world swivel and spin and turn all bright and rainbow-like, to some guys, these words are all they've been waiting for. They feel like a dog who's spotted a rainbow.

Even after months of conversation, on many levels, months of teasing, moments of emotional intimacy... these women after all the sweet talking, claim to be just friends...once these guys tell them of their feelings.

Then these guys are baffled. What were the sweet words about? Did the i love you's mean squat? What about the online kisses every two lines? Were they just passing their time playing around with these guys feelings? Knowing that these are serious guys. Guys who take feelings, emotions, love seriously?

Then they Pretend as if they did nothing wrong in the first place. Like its quite normal to throw around these words. Like it's normal to tell guys everytime they're going to shower and indulge their visions of them in the same, providing morbid descriptions? Or it's normal to inform a guy everytime one's going to change one's clothes [going to strip babe, just a min, brb]. A guy you are merely friends with. Not Bf GF. Telling them their calls are a lifeline all the while not realising how statements such as these raise their hopes up several notches.

Then they go and shatter their hopes. Were these hopes unfairly raised? The only excuse these girls give is that this is the way everyone in their generation talks. I'm talking about a generatoin 5-7 years younger. They are ok with guys feeling them up, unabashedly sexually promiscous even before they reach 17yrs of age. This is all ok...with them. And then they complain that guys call them W****S and S***s. Not that the guys are entirely without blame.

But I digress.

Then these chicks, transform the formely simple guys into messes. Colossal Messes they cannot clean up, nor can they forget and certainly not forgive. They doubt every girl thereafter. And that ruins things for the girls who genuinely mean what they say. These chicks ruin it for all the "Good Women" out there.

How is that fair, how?

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Mirror mirror on the wall...who's the scariest of them all?

I forced myself to face my worst fear today. Yes thats me, horrified!

Let me explain.

Until nearly 7years ago, I was fairly good looking [read : Hot!] and smart and polished and basically I put effort into my looks and physique. I used to preen in front of the mirror and scope myself in everything that reflected light and myself. I was the epitome of vanity. You would've been too if you had guys falling for you left and right.

I was confident. Arrogant, even. [not proud, and certainly not so anymore.]

Then college happened. Misunderstandings, rejections, betrayals, loneliness, a sense of not knowing myself...

Then eating disorders happened....

Soon enough I began hating the reflection I saw in the mirror. So I did what seemed smart [read : Convienient] at the time, and sold my full length mirror.

I never faced a full length mirror...after that.

Yesterday I went and bought one....

After all these years, it seems to me, the smart thing to do, the only thing to do, is change what I see in the mirror. I couldn't do that until I saw what the mirror shows, the thing that scares the living crap out of it.

So I did.

I faced it.

And its helping already. Fitness first. Healthy foods in. All kinds of junk out. Daily runs a must.

You must think I'm so bizarre!!

This is me though...facing my worst fear...trying to make my biggest enemy my best pal.