
I forced myself to face my worst fear today. Yes thats me, horrified!
Let me explain.
Until nearly 7years ago, I was fairly good looking [read : Hot!] and smart and polished and basically I put effort into my looks and physique. I used to preen in front of the mirror and scope myself in everything that reflected light and myself. I was the epitome of vanity. You would've been too if you had guys falling for you left and right.
I was confident. Arrogant, even. [not proud, and certainly not so anymore.]
Then college happened. Misunderstandings, rejections, betrayals, loneliness, a sense of not knowing myself...
Then eating disorders happened....
Soon enough I began hating the reflection I saw in the mirror. So I did what seemed smart [read : Convienient] at the time, and sold my full length mirror.
I never faced a full length mirror...after that.
Yesterday I went and bought one....
After all these years, it seems to me, the smart thing to do, the only thing to do, is change what I see in the mirror. I couldn't do that until I saw what the mirror shows, the thing that scares the living crap out of it.
So I did.
I faced it.
And its helping already. Fitness first. Healthy foods in. All kinds of junk out. Daily runs a must.
You must think I'm so bizarre!!
This is me though...facing my worst fear...trying to make my biggest enemy my best pal.
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