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Thursday, July 02, 2009

Mirror mirror on the wall...who's the scariest of them all?


I forced myself to face my worst fear today. Yes thats me, horrified!

Let me explain.

Until nearly 7years ago, I was fairly good looking [read : Hot!] and smart and polished and basically I put effort into my looks and physique. I used to preen in front of the mirror and scope myself in everything that reflected light and myself. I was the epitome of vanity. You would've been too if you had guys falling for you left and right.

I was confident. Arrogant, even. [not proud, and certainly not so anymore.]

Then college happened. Misunderstandings, rejections, betrayals, loneliness, a sense of not knowing myself...

Then eating disorders happened....

Soon enough I began hating the reflection I saw in the mirror. So I did what seemed smart [read : Convienient] at the time, and sold my full length mirror.

I never faced a full length mirror...after that.

Yesterday I went and bought one....

After all these years, it seems to me, the smart thing to do, the only thing to do, is change what I see in the mirror. I couldn't do that until I saw what the mirror shows, the thing that scares the living crap out of it.

So I did.

I faced it.

And its helping already. Fitness first. Healthy foods in. All kinds of junk out. Daily runs a must.

You must think I'm so bizarre!!

This is me though...facing my worst fear...trying to make my biggest enemy my best pal.

46 lost souls found themselves in my mirror....:

ruSh.Me said...

Shaabash!!!

LOL. Seems like I am going to have company!!! Mirror is more like a friend.. You can know all about yourself from it!!!

Satans Darling™ said...

The exact same thing happened with me too! I saw myself in a full length mirror last year after a gap of almost 10 months and I looked like a double roti :|

I have been trying to steadily reduce all the bulge.. It's working, but slowly.

All the best!

Crafty Shines said...

awww! hugs Coffee!!!!

u get back on track coffee!! yes yes!!! must to work our way to getting hot bod again!!!

firstly, don't make the mistake i made....when i started putting on, i kept saying "damn, i'm fat" and then bought loose clothes....

no shopping for loose clothes...u work ur way into old fitting clothes!!!!

and don't think too much about it! thinking more will add to weight, i did all the wrong things!

finally, decided to tell myself every morning, "wow, i think i lost weight" and trust me, it does wonders, a positive attitude! don't punish urself with these thoughts! but yes, wanting fitness is a good dood move!

acceptance is the first step to change! and ur there! the rest is surely gonna follow!!

in few months, we want full lenght pic! smiling!!! n confident!

coffee is best hot! so come on!!!!

HUGS!!!

Tongue-fu Lady said...

Hi5 girl! Its great to know that u r outta ur worst fear.. Now put on those sneakers and burn the few extra kilos and bring out the HOT girl within..All the best!! :)

Dok Saab said...

:)

Indyeah said...

first of all hats off for the courage to write about this:))


and for facing your fear head on!
you go girl!:)))

no not bizzare ..but definitely brave :))

((hugs)))

PS:-I also love your lil girl whose pic is on the sidebar:))))

laddu said...

nope i dont think u r bizarre..
infact i could relate with u..even i have 2 start what u ve already started..dunno wen ll i do dat.... :(:(

chirpy-paaro said...

All d best...hope to see ur fairly good looking body (:P) again.. .:))

Nick said...

Here you go....Fighter Girl!
I am glad that you finally figured out the way to overcome your weakness.
Love u babez n kp smiling :)!

Sucharita Sarkar said...

Full length mirrors are the biggest enemy of my self-image, too. But you have faced the enemy head-on with your healthy food and exercise regime. All the best!

Little Girl Lost said...

LOL... i am glad to see you are not sinking in your misery but battling on. this is very inspiring for me...

Pesto Sauce said...

What an expression that....your face says it all

Aniket said...

All the best to you. I cant ever give up junk food. Its against my family values. :D :D

Solilo said...

Whatday doing girl? Mirrors are our enemy. :D

Jagjit said...

That was an honest account. Appreciate that you wrote it. And by the way it's confidence that makes one beautiful. Take care. Nice blog.

CoFfEe AnGeL said...

@Rush.me : U have a virtual gym buddy now :)

CoFfEe AnGeL said...

@Satan's Darling : Thanks pal...hehe...loved the double roti part!

coffee angel said...

@Crafty shines : HEY! Ur right...coffee is indeed best hot. Thats my motto now on!

coffee angel said...

@Tongue fu lady : The sneakers and I are both burning!

coffee angel said...

@Indyeah : Shes called google...n currently parked on my kashmiri rug! hence the new pic :)

coffee angel said...

@Laddu : Start soon! Sooner is better than never...

coffee angel said...

@Chirpy paro : Hehe...yea, hopefully!

coffee angel said...

@Nick : Lubbu too!

w@lkin' di$@$ter! said...

@Sucharita : WEll i think its a good idea to try to turn ur enemy into ur best friend ;)

coffee angel said...

@LGL : Forward ho!

coffee angel said...

@Pesto sauce : That was the point!

coffee angel said...

@Aniket : Family values? really??

coffee angel said...

@Solilo : nooo...not the enemy no more!

coffee angel said...

@Jagjit : I'm working on the confidence bit :) thank u for visiting and taking the time to comment :o)

Scribbler said...

If it weren't for mirrors...


keep it rollin;)

Shafi said...

Thank god ...

"mirrors cant laugh" &
"mirrors came screeeem either"

Poor thing !

auroracoda said...

HURRAH! ME too! :) I'm dreading getting married in a Sari being as heavy as I am now! With all the world to see my fat stomach??? OH HORROR!

To be perfectly honest though, you still are gorgeous.

But getting healthy and feeling good about yourself is all that matters!

So good luck to us both! :)

CoFfEe AnGeL said...

@Scribbler : If it weren't for mirrors We'd be lost!

CoFfEe AnGeL said...

@Shafi : Your sympathies are with my mirror??!!!

Shafi said...

lol yeah....you got that right into the BOX.. ha ha

Dont it really deserve that ??

Sara said...

Its great to recognize your enemy and to plan a strategy to uproot it, like you have done.Hope you succeed in your goal!

Yogesh said...

guess the mirror might have got afraid and this fear must have made it produce this horrified effect of urs...lols..

chillz...
u still look good [read : Hot!]

Yogesh
ygoel.com

CoFfEe AnGeL said...

@Shafi : I'll let ur sarcasm pass!

CoFfEe AnGeL said...

@Sara : I hope so too! Make friends with the enemy...thats the rule :)

CoFfEe AnGeL said...

@Yogesh : Ur siding with shafi! but thank u for the back handed compliment :)

Shafi said...

Okay ...! 8-(

Yogesh said...

pleasure is all mine dear..

tke cre
b well..

Yogesh
ygoel.com

deepansh said...

lol. you are amazing! :-)

CoFfEe AnGeL said...

@Deepansh: I wonder why u think so!!

Henry said...

Looking to modernize your bedroom with some new and stylish Wall Mirrors, Spacify has everything you need.

pawan said...

The last line reminds me of "Batman Begins!"
Lol! :D