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Sunday, April 26, 2009

Totally TaBoO Part-4






























RAJAT :

The night Rajat came home and found Preksha missing was easily the scariest night of his life. There was no note, no indication of where she may have been. All he could find was a glass of half finished booze and a couple of sleeping pills. He rushed to the telephone and pressed redial. It was answered by the nurse on casualty duty at the nearby hospital. He asked if Preksha was there...and rushed over.

"Shes ok, she'll live, but shes shaken. We had to pump her stomach and that is a very stressful procedure, not just for the stomach. She'll be a bit woozy from whatever pills have taken effect but she will be fine eventually. All she needs is TLC. That and time and rest. And probably...a..um...Psychiatry consult...No need to think of it as a Taboo...," The Doctor rushed to explain seeing the mildly shocked expression on Rajat's face. " Sometimes we have problems and feelings we cannot deal with...if there's someone, who is far more experienced than ourselves, who can help us with our problems...its smart to get help. ", continued the Doctor.

TLC? What was that? It was probably on the prescription pad...the chemist would know for sure. He took Preksha home. They never talked about it. He didn't ask why and she didn't offer an explanation. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. She had stop thinking of him as her best friend long ago.

The next day she seemed cheerful. Neater, cleaner, more like her old self.

He always felt she was unhappy because of him. He spent one year trying to get her to fall in love with him...He always wondered if she felt she'd compromised in choosing him as a mate. She was so much better than him in so many ways. The day he convinced her to marry him, seemed like the best day of his life...correction, the day she married him was the best, he felt he could rest easy now. Breathe, heave a sigh of relief. Be himself...and not the modern version of Romeo that he'd become. He loved her, now they were together and wouldn't be apart for the next seven lifetimes...and if they kept repeating the same vows then for the rest of their rebirths! Ha!

He was not a romantically expressive guy. She was his first girlfriend. And his last. He was not unfaithful to her. He really loved her with all his heart. He just didn't know how to show it in any new ways anymore. He was all for giving her beautiful flowers, taking her on dates, making love till they were exhausted and couldn't keep their eyes open and their bodies were limp and relaxed...He did all he could to make her happy. But sometimes when they were out in public, and she took his hand, or linked her arm through his, he was uncomfortable. You never knew who would be watching. When they were in a group too, he never sat close to her, or touched her in anyway, or talked to her in a way that could be considered anything but friendly. No hint of the passion they shared in bed. It always upset her. She didn't understand his reticence. His extreme shyness. He wasn't half as bold as she was. Besides, what was the need to show the world what they meant to one another? What did the world care anyway? It didn't make a difference to him what couples world over were doing to each other in public.

Things changed after marriage. Managing a job, the house, their life...family...all got to him at the end of the day when he felt exhausted. And unable to stomach her statements of loneliness. Not that she mentioned it to him anymore. What was to be lonely about...? He hadn't gone anywhere had he? He wasn't leaving her for someone else, he wasn't cheating on her, he managed their finances well, he didn't curb her or restrict her in any way, certainly he didn't hit her! What did she want? He sometimes felt he had failed her. If it wasn't for the fact that he knew how big she was on integrity, he'd be worried about her leaving him.

She was a good wife. No doubt. Attentive to his every little need. Cooking food as per his tastes, tolerating his fussy nature, packing his tiffin. He had never asked her if she took a tiffin to work. He had no idea. She took care of his clothes, his family and his home. Of him. Laid out his clothes everyday for work, his shorts when he came home. Gave him his meds when he was sick, made his chicken soup when he had a cold, wiped his nose, cleaned his vomit. He brought home the groceries, the vegetables, set the table for dinner, helped with the cleaning, They had an equal marriage. The zing, the passion had diminished.

Didn't that happen eventually anyway? In any marriage?

He often worked weekends too and in any case, she was always either asleep or in the bathroom. He yearned for her touch, but now, sometimes, he was afraid of her. He was worried of touching her, only to see...withdrawal. He seemed to have caused too much pain. Let too many tears fall without making an effort to wipe them off. It was her, all her, why did she cry so damn much? Her tears caused him unbearable pain initially, but later...now...they only annoyed him. His heart seemed to have gone cold. There was a time when he heard her cry, he cried too. He used to catch her tears before they fell.


Now he just ignored them. Ignored her.

Of course he did hate himself later. For a bit. A short bit. What was the point then anyway? His harshness would only aggravate her sadness. He never knew the right thing to say at the right time. If you can't help something, don't aggravate it.

Of late she was happy. She was cheerful, even though he didn't get to see much of it being busy at work and even on weekends.

There were flowers at home. He didn't get them. She said she bought them to add a dash of colour to the house.

She hummed.

Rajat knew it wasn't him.

Was he losing her?

To whom?

Did it even matter? The whom? The where, when, how many times... what difference did it make anymore?

It was the why, that needed looking into.

He thought she couldn't live without him. turned out she had started a whole new life without him. She would leave him, not only far behind but for good. Could he live without her?

He hadn't considered it so far. Should he?

Could he win her back?

14 lost souls found themselves in my mirror....:

Sumit said...

hmmm... not so much a caveman as I thought!! Just the shy, introvert type... would wait for the rest to unfold.

Imp's Mom said...

hi there, v.v. interesting.. esp the images you have used... am going to have to read the prev posts to really understand what is going on here, but im not really complaining :D

coffeeismypoison said...

@Sumit : Glad u think pleasantly of my 3rd character...I enjoy it when u are forced to revive ur opinions of my characters. U never told me what u think of preksha :)

@Imp's Mom : Thanks Imp's Mom. Do read the first 3 parts and come back :o) hope u like them...

Little Girl Lost said...

Coffee- this was what i was really waiting for, the husband's side of the story.
i had suspected he wasn't the mean pig the others saw him as. i think he just made the mistake of falling in love with a woman he couldn't keep up with.
i'm really sorry for him. but he's going to have to care a lot more if he wants to win her back...

coffeeismypoison said...

@LGL : Firstly, ur new pic is beautiful in an entereal way :o)
I think hes scared. The most scared of them all...He's the one everyone will blame. Like u said "mean pig..." :)
I'm so glad ur sorry for him. i am too. He needs a friend. He knows now that he needs to care. I guess he figured once they were wed...nothing would break them up. Love and marriage being forever and all that. He's a simple fellow.

Chriz said...

so he is a good guy? any twists you are gonna come up with? his twin bro coming up from USA?

coffeeismypoison said...

@chriz : No one's bad!! Thata the point...people are just...different :o) and if i tell u the twists...whats the point. I din't really think of this as a twist not per se anyway.

SGD said...

Hmmm....the sensitive reticent guy!! Interesting....
Waiting for more....

coffeeismypoison said...

@SGD: The next few parts are ...well they're becoming v.long and I don't want anyone to lose interest.
However...a new post coming up!!

Pretty Me!! said...

correction, the day she married him was the best, he felt he could rest easy now. Breathe, heave a sigh of relief. Be himself...and not the modern version of Romeo that he'd become.


>> so she loved some one Raj never was !!


No wonder things were as you described alter !! nice :)

Sumit said...

Oh well, if I were to proceed with my character analysis, lets say as different parts of yours unfold, I would end up writing a short story. Oh btw, when you thought I was referring to Nimish as caveman, I was actually referring to Rajat. :)

coffeeismypoison said...

@Pretty Me : No one really is...that romantic...everyone in a realationship has to make that extra effort to keep their partner's self esteem up...keep em reassured theyre special. To some ideas come naturally...to some, it takes an extra effort.

@Sumit : oh yeah...thats a relief@! My most "shareef" character is being called a caveman! He's not...u see that now right? He's a sweetheart.

Zeba Talkhani said...

OHHHH NO! He is the good guy as well. Everybody is good. Who will I hate then? You have no idea how much willpower is being wasted just so I don't skip to the last post. Ok. The rest of them will have to wait. My eyes are refusing to comply with me!!

Love it. Shows how much lack of communication can damage a relation. Very nicely percieved and expressed. I feel sad for both. Such a sad thing to happen. Going to make my would-be-husband(if someone like that exists!) read this before we marry. . .

CoFfEe AnGeL said...

@Zeba : haha...they're not ALL good...they have other aspects too. One is insensitive, one is whiny and one is having an affair with a married woman...this story is to show the other aspects of their relationships and feelings too :)
I would've made my wud b hubby read it except hes not that much into reading...so i summarize everything and tell him :D