MuTuAL DissAtiSfAcTiOn.

The BF and I went on a date yesterday! YaY! Since we were both tired, we went for lunch after booking our movie tickets [ The BF recieved complimentary couple tickets from work for excellent performance! Kudos Sweety!]. We went to Nirula's for pizza since he's constantly raving about them. While the BF went to freshen up in the wash room I observed the couple in front of our table.

From the conversation [they were LOUD!] it was clear that they weren't a long time couple. They were here at their parent's behest, to "meet" to decide if they wanted to marry each other.

They weren't in the least bit interested in meet or marrying each other. The girl wasn't anyway. She sat leaning way back in the chair, arms folded across her chest, dressed like a slob. Foot jiggling, hands constantly fiddling with her earrings, mumbling hmmm, yeah...as the guy earnestly tried to explain How many people his family business was actually divided among.

"My uncle, thats my Chachaji and Tauji and my father. Actually he was a friend of my cousin [from my chacha's side] and thats how...Blah blah gobbledegook and then some more."
No wonder she wasn't interested.

"My Ex-Girlfriend, she had that...". Thats right...give her visions of you and your ex. That'll make her want to be your current.

"I don't know anything about Nirula's...Its my first time here." L-I-A-R! If you're a delhite, you've been there. Even if you are a rich delhiite...as is obvious with your fat gold rings, ralph lauren polo shirt with the first few buttons left undone to display your testosterone bearing chest hair, your clanking gold [24carat] chains and your Tommy Hilfiger watch.

All this while the girl is constantly checking her watch. Bad manners yes, but what else is one to do when time passes so painfully slowly?

And the high point was when they both looked like the couple in the above picture.

Meeting a fella to decide if you want to marry him is pretty painful. No doubt. I'm sure its no less agonizing for guys too. That would explain the nervous babbling...the unforgivable questions put to the girl [How much is your salary?] or the careful, tactless judging the housekeeping potential of the future wife [What can you cook best?] or the job situation [Will you be wanting to work after marriage also?] or the living location [you will be going to my village in east Bihar for 6 months after that I'll be picking you up. My parents are there only na. We will all live together in my house here.].

Whew. Am I ever glad I don' t have to go through that!

HoNeYmOoN TrAvELs And MoRe!

Awhile ago, the BF and I were out for dinner with friends. Single, unmarried friends. As always, the talk turned to marriage [I know, I'm full of it right now.] and the partial loss of individual freedom that comes as a downside to married life. They each said they wanted to do things, visit places before they got "Tied Down."

I remember feeling that way. Especially since the only tourist spots I've been to ever, is Hong Kong and that too since Dad was posted there and we were given 3 months school vacation due to the gulf war. [1989]. And a 5 day trip to Kerala in college. My better half has been around with his family. Thats something I've always wanted to do...And I mentioned my feelings to the BF in the initial days of our courtship...I said I wanted to go places, and he said " I want to be the one to take you to those places. Won't you have more fun with me around? I'll take care of you...I want to show you all kinds of fascinating things..."

That was the sweetest thing and I've never ever felt that I'd be tied down by marriage since he said this. I don't have a clue who the couple in this picture is, but they sure do look happy together. And He was right...with him taking care of me and showing me all over, I wont have to worry about things like keeping the tickets ready, not losing things, hotel reservations, carrying the lugguage etc...[I can see to other things]. But the point is, Two's company!

Admittedly we also decided that we'd give each other freedom for boy's/girl's nights out. Or for biking trips across the country with "guy" friends. That's ok too. As long as we manage to spend quality time together and with the family too. Everyone needs downtime. Too much time in each other's company can just drive one nuts eventually. Plus we'll need new things to talk about! Freedom...it's important. No doubt once kids arrive, and other family obligations too increase exponentially post marriage, we get tied down, a lot. But it's important to make time for yourself, alone and as a couple...otherwise you, and you both, will get lost and exhausted and will one day look in the mirror and not recognize yourself.