Saturday, February 21, 2009

Sunk in mediocrity.

This may seem like a very narcissistic post, but its not. Quite the opposite actually. Thing is, I was always above average, till 7 years ago. Always excelled at anything I put my hands, and mind, to. ANYTHING.

Six months into college, life got to me.

And somehow I never quite learnt not to let it get me so down, I don’t recognize myself anymore. I’m not even a shadow of what I used to be. I took every little thing to heart...earlier till 12th grade, I was all of these and more :

- Slim and fit.

- V.diligent

- Confident

- An academic topper, always among the top 5

- Pretty and beautiful

- In demand among the opposite sex.

- Intelligent

- High on self esteem.

- Health conscious.

No, I wasn’t perfect. I had my flaws. I was also :

- Arrogant [ no more]

- Vain about my looks [definitely no more]

- A terrible leader [nope, not anymore. I’ve learnt to follow those I’m leading]

- The kind of girl who thought nothing of breaking a guy’s heart.[ had my heart broken.i know how it feels now.]

- Condescending [ only to nikhil.]

- Aloof [yes, sometimes still.]

- Cold [if I hhate someone.]

I was chatting with a friend when I told him to name some people who were in my league and working [my league = low achievers league.] and studying. When did I start thinking of myself as an underachiever? Worse, when did I sart believing it and acting upon it?? All the good things I was in school were simply because I never doubted them, I was always sure I was. It didn’t matter what someone else said. I had utter faith in myself and my abilities. There was never any room for doubt.

Life and people, both get you down. But maybe thats because you let them. What does it matter if someone won’t talk politely to you? Or won’t respond to your desire for a meaningful relationship? Maybe a few exams have gone badly, but does that mean they ALL should ? So what if one lousy guy or conceited girl said you weren’t good looking, does that mean you really aren’t? Who is anyone else to decide whether you’re good enough or not?

And people, well they have some nerve really. They forget that they themselves are as far away from perfect as they can get, but they’ve got no problem criticizing other people!! They don’t stop to consider the fact that their words or behaviour maybe hurting other people. And when they do get to know, they’re not even sorry!! It’s amazing really.

But the point I’m getting to is, no matter how unfair life is or how mean people are, if you let them get to you...change you for the worse, then they’ve won.

You can’t lose against life! And certainly not against useless people! If anything, one should learn lessons from life and definitely so from those people...from life – how to live and from those people? How not to be! At least give those people’s lives some meaning.

Go, go ... go out and be better, no no, go out and be the best that you can!! If someones criticizing you, chances are they’re simply jealous of you or you make them insecure. Not everyone likes to be related to a doctor or someone more educated than them. Some people get jealous and that drives them to be mean and spiteful. But you cannot hold yourself back from being your best because of their immaturity. Thats their issue, and bad behaviour will only hold them back. And theres absolutely no reason to desire revenge or want to hurt them the way they have you. Just take satisfaction in the fact that “what goes around, comes around.”

And there are good lessons to be learnt from life. Remember what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger. Its true!

It makes no sense that we’ve stopped believing in ouselves and started believing in others, particularly those others who may not necessarily wish us well.

Go out and be the best you can, because you owe it to yourself to do so!! Don’t let negative elements win.

2 lost souls found themselves in my mirror....:

Ruchika said...

And this is exactly how you should be feeling!
No more unhappiness! I love the optimism in it...
Very very well written!

sweta said...

thanks ruch.
trying to keep the faith...