Saturday, February 14, 2009

FiNiCkY iN LoVe!

I'm not even half as open minded as I thought I'd grow up to be. I seem to have grown up to resemble my dad in more ways than intellect/temper/mulishness/sloppiness and etc. I fell in love in a very calculated manner. Mind you I was quite unaware of it at the time...until I entered a discussion regarding whether or not I'd marry a younger man.
ME : No way.

But what if Nikhil had been younger than you?!

ME : He'd be eliminated in the screening round!

you;re just saying that now, you wouldn't really have done that. Its easy to say so now, 4 years later.

ME : No...I knew Nik was and is older. I just wasn't sure how tall he was, whether or not he was taller than me and whether or not he was pursuing a professional degree course.

Nikhil was sitting right there and said, " That's true, She did ask me what my exact height was...and when we met,2.5years into our relationship, the first thing I said after hi, when I went to pick her up, was...Height toh theek haina? Dekh lo.[ Height is fine right? Check.] She's very particular about some stuff...".

He's right of course. Call me immature, or fixated...but I'd never marry :
- a younger man.
- a shorter man.
- a man without a professional degree. I don't care how hardworkingor ingenius he is, if he's that smart a proper college degree shouldn't be such a problem.

My Dad said once," I don't care how rich he maybe, I would not let my daughters marry Bill Gates. The fellow has no degree." not that Bill Gates is tempted in any way by either of us.

Why the age fixation in partcular?
See, I'm not the type who quietly obeys anyone. Ask my parents. They spent most of my life and theirs trying to make me take them seriously. Unless and until they produced solid logic regarding the matter in discussion...I wouldn't rest my case.
When I don't see their point {because we said so.] they turn to nikhil who gives me a proper reason for why they're saying whatever.

Nikhil's 1.5yrs older than me. If he were the same amount junior to me...[and in a romantic relationship with me as well.]

- I wouldn't EVER take him seriously.
- I wouldn't feel comfortable burdening him with my worries. Trivial or otherwise.
- I wouldn't let him comfort me.
- The generation gap would bother me constantly.
- I need someone to take care of me. And I wouldn't let him do it because...well I'd subconciously consider him my ward.
- I wouldn't ever let him pay for anything. Nikhil never lets me pay for anything...the only way I manage to feel less guilty is if I have money, I slip some into his wallet when opportunity presents itnself or when He's busy parking the car/bike, I run and buy the movie tickets or etc. HAHA!!
- I'd be constantly pissed because I'd feel incharge of him.
- I wouldn't be able to take care of him like wife of a husband or a gf of a bf because I couldn't think of him as anything other than a younger brother/son...Or worse, I'd be his babysitter. Ugh.
- I'd be perpetually frustrated because I'd not be having any semblance of a physical relationship because he wouldn't be touching me with a ten foot pole.
- I'd nag like I've literally never nagged before.
- I'd probably scorn him.
- and say he'd never understand.
- And ask him repeatedly to grow up.
- To top it all, if the poor fellow ever did try to act grown up, or anyway anwayyy i'd be poking fun at him.
- Eventually I'd get tired of taking care of him all the time and if i didn't take care of him , I'd feel guilty for being irresponsible. I mean I should be taking care of him, he's younger tha me after all eh?

But you know, apparently thats just me. I need someone to take care of me. And I love taking care of Nikhil. The age difference is just about right. The maturity levels usually match seeing as how guys mature later than girls. In some ways he is and in some I am more mature. We're partners. As equal as can be. A balance. I take him seriously and he me.
As far as height is concerned, I wouldn't want to bend down to hug him and more. Ew.

I realised just how backward I am when my mother said I was talking nonsense!
Of course my sis responded with "dude what are you saying? you know I go for older guys."
Nikhil said "I don't know it depends."

To each his own I guess...
the Pros and cons of an older chick marrying younger dude are given here, in part anyway.

I guess its just unconventional. I thought I was too!

6 lost souls found themselves in my mirror....:

Ruchika said...

I am so gonna ruin your life from now on!
Personally, I agree on the tall guy bit...fettish I guess.
But 1.5 yrs isnt too much of a difference to me...i think...not really too sure.
But yeah, I do want someone who takes care of me rather than the other way around!

coffeeismpoison said...

Its not about the AMOUNT of age differnce. If the fellow was a minute younger to me, i'd not take him seriously. I don't know y. Sometimes the only way nik and my parents get me to listen is wen they remind me that they are older and apparently by default...wiesr. or at least more experienced. lol.

ruSh.Me said...

Hmm..Personally, I don't think Age Difference matters... And Person older to me, might/might not be wiser than me...

I have met both varieties of people...

Hope you have fun on the 14th!!!

coffeeismypoison said...

I know what you mean. But u know what I realised, we are v.influenced by what we see growing up. What I saw was, my Dad taking care of my mom, they have a 6yrs age gap[dad's older] and mom took care of dad too but somehow always respected him SO much cos he was older. All the uncles and aunties were this way. earlier on i didn't have an issue with age, not until i met and interacted with younger fellows. when i did...ew.
then again she did say ...main bakwaas kar rahi hun. lol.

abinitio said...

call me a chauvinist but i agree with the author... i'd never marry a woman taller or older than me.. not even a mm taller ... not even a sec older...
my views might sound ancient or prehistoric to some but thats me...

Sweta said...

Abinitio you're listed as a contributor to this blog. And youre neither ancient nor're just v.v.similar to me!!