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Saturday, January 10, 2009

Destiny versus Karma- an Answer at last!


I can be so preposterous, not to mention presumptuous sometimes! Consider this for example. At 10:15PM on 9th Jan, 2009, I was studying, but anxiously. I am to leave Delhi for 10 days at the end of the month to give exams in Bangalore. I was worried as to where and with whom I could leave my Google safely. Not to mention free or nearly free of cost as I am not earning and my folks don’t support my love for animals of any sort.

Then it occurred to me, about this lady who lives above our flat with her husband, son and MIL [the latter two like dogs a lot]. I have only ever had one good, long chat with her around Diwali time...over exchange of sweets. I wished it could have gone on but was not feasible at the time. Thereafter whenever I’d see her or run into her...I always noticed her smiling. Not like a loon! A real, genuine smile. She looks 15yrs younger than she actually is, which is why when she told me her real age I was literally stunned into silence. [Rude I know but still!].


She seems...free.

Late as it was a voice inside kept nagging at me...to go go just go and you’ll see why...and so I went. And once inside I was there for the better part of an hour and what an enjoyable hour it was. Turns out she was awake-studying. Doing a v.well respected PG degree course from a good college and had exams over the weekend. But she was so warm and hospitable I didn’t feel like leaving. When I asked her if it would be feasible for her to keep Google for 10days she ACTUALLY CONSIDERED IT. Meaning she didn’t gasp in disbelief and say it was “no no, impossible.” Like so many others do.

But I digress...We talked about a lot of stuff. And that talk relieved a lot of the anxiety I’d been feeling about PG entrances, the future...What’s in my kismet? IS there a kismet? She even answered what was confusing me about whether there is such a thing as destiny or is it allll just about slogging...

She said...Destiny is what you will get regardless of how much or little work you put it...regardless of everything...it’s the “bare minimum”... Now karma is the ladder you climb upon to get something over and above your destiny. Sort of like “destiny + bonus”. And worrying never pays because it’s a manifestation of “doubt” which, apart from being a mood killer, destroys faith and doesn’t let good things come to you.
That made total sense...

Doubt -> worry -> distribution of primary focus -> faith reduction -> pessimism ... and good things never happen to pessimists!

She even had good things to say about her MIL, a first for me...I’ve never heard a DIL say anything good about her MIL and vice versa. This was a pleasant change. Made me a little less worried about marriage and adjustment :o)


She told me how she doesn’t take things – work or studies- to be a burden...or anything for that matter. That explained why she felt and looked free... problems, she said and worries come but you have to deal with them, destroy them or delegate them... :-D

If you don’t like what you are doing –say, for a living- do not do it. But if you are going to do it, you would be better off if you learnt to like it!
She said she was less, much less confused now than she had been before...more calm, relaxed and thus able to enjoy life.

Now I never have role models, but this lady was setting a very good example of how best to live and how to really live and not let life get in the way of living.
It’s not every day one comes across such a person... I don’t write about individuals [the last time I wrote about Google], but there’s always a first time... and this lady has so impressed me. At 11pm, when I finally left, I was lighter of heart and mind...Problem not yet solved...but I knew it would be one way or another. Sooner or later, and my worrying wouldn’t help.
[Also my mom, who doesn't like going to meet people just for chats...came back from her place one day all smiles...regretting only that she[the lady] was too busy to possible chat with daily :) Mom never says that about anyone!]

And that was a relief! I felt free, more so than I was when I’d arrived.
And she invited me for coffee too!

5 lost souls found themselves in my mirror....:

Nick said...

Sweta it seems that she's a nice girl & you should make more friends like her.
It's good that her words of wisdom are helping you in living a better life:-)!

sweta said...

Nick shes not a girl...shes a grown up woman/lady!much older than me!she just ... is v.v.young inside [and out too].

abinitio said...

i wish it was this simple not to worry and leave it all on destiny or so called destiny bonus... but at times like these all words of comfort are welcome.. and these surely help.. this friend of urs surely is smart...!!! comin from me thats a serious compliment...

deepansh said...

Hmmm. good lesson. Makes a lot of sense. Gives a reason to believe that our actions dictate our results. If not 100%, atleast 60%.

coffeeismypoison said...

i see ur working your way through my blog :) its gonna take u forEVER!!! thanks for commenting... :)