Sunday, November 23, 2008

MaSkiNg LoVe...

...Should qualify as a sin.

If you’re afraid of what people think you shouldn’t have dared fall in love at all. And to get married to a person you love all the while pretending it’s an “arranged” marriage, screams hypocrisy. Lies. Betrayal and insult of the very word love, that which makes the world go around! Or at least makes the dizzying ride easier to bear, by far. To think, it is thought of as a sin! Immoral is what “society” will call you. That’s why everyone’s trying to hard to protect you!

Protect me? From what????? Hypocrites? I don’t need protecting thank you very much! I don’t really give a fuck what a bunch of ignoramuses are thinking about me. I’m not going to deny, nor condone the denying of, the greatest thing that ever happened to me...the one thing that makes me smile,[other than both Googles].

I’d be proud to tell all and sundry that I fell in love with my man BEFORE marriage! I still get excited when I hear of other people’s love marriages only to feel disgusted as they begin saying nonsense like

“Oh no it’s not a love marriage, it’s arranged. We just like each other.”

Oh so you’ll marry the first person you like?

Picture this scene, Cousins wedding.

60Kgs bride, tall, fair – 45kgs groom, a head shorter, darker. Rajput chick, Gujju kuda. Mind you Rajputs are v.particular about caste and all. They more or less fought their families for nearly a year and a half before every elder concerned threw up their hands and said “fine then do what you want we won’t disown you!” little joke.

But even though the bride wore flat chappals and walked with a stoop, it was easy to see that the parents hadn’t chosen their about to be Son-in-law. That “it must have been the girl, she lives alone in another state for her job you know and this fellow works there only like her boss”...

While distributing the wedding cards, my aunt [herself had a love marriage, intercaste, 30yrs ago] kept insisting that this was not a love marriage, even to her own son, [father of 2 children mind you.]. Her dialogue was the same,” SHE didn’t choose him! They just work together and his mother liked her v.v.much so she wanted the marriage...”

Oh I see...and you’ll just hand over your precious daughter to the first person who asks or like a spoilt child, insists? I mean, seriously, do you think we’re all stupid?

And my cousin!

When I first came to hear about this, I called her up and she seemed excited telling me how they met and etc.

Then she arrived in Delhi for her marriage.

And said to me “oh we haven’t dated or been alone or anything. His mom liked me! I didn’t have anything to do with the whole thing! AT ALL.”

Hear ye all merciful God’s in heaven! Do such people even deserve to be in love? Why don’t you just take their share of the love and give it to those few passionate people who pine for love!? Why dontcha eh?

Then there was another Scenario.

Pundit Boy, tall dark and dubiously handsome [but in his family’s eyes he was who cares it his family’s eyes not mine.] fell in love with girl short, dark, not drop dead gorgeous, Punjabi caste.

{Wait... for those who are yet unfamiliar with the arranged marriage scene, when a marriage is arranged, the parents usually, well almost always look towards matching castes.}

During the card distribution process, the boy’s mother...

“oh no they didn’t decide among themselves...we were all sitting and making jokes, we actually know the family veryy well...we were all just joking and you know in joke joke we fixed the marriage.”

Good Lord. Decision of 7 lifetimes made in joke joke!
I mean seriously the stories people come up with are always:


-delirious blabbering



... Because no one’s an idiot.

Be honest!! Parents and kids alike...have the nerve to simply say, if someone asks – the bf’s mom asked me “what can we say then? What?” – Simply say “the children chose each other and we have no objection!”

How hard was that now? No one’s asking you to scream from the rooftops...although to be honest, anyone’s whose been in love be it before or after marriage, will admit to the extreme desire of wanting to yell out to the whole world...that they’re in love. Ah the effect of Hindi films I say.

A quiet, dignified admission is enough. Theres nothing immoral about falling in love. It’s the best thing that can happen to anyone and nothing surpasses that feeling more that if it is reciprocated. That’s rare.

And we are no one to deny it. If we do deny it, we do not deserve it.


5 lost souls found themselves in my mirror....:

JYOTI SINGH said... modern as people pretend to be ..truth of the matter is that 90% are lying hippocrites...i know exactly who ur talking to so it makes the situation even more hilarious...u n never look at such people without laughing internally each time...
bitches though...dats my opinion of them...they just deserved to be laughed at...i can go on on on this i will just stop NOW....oh oh...THEY ARE BITCHES

Nick said...

Well written(as always)!
It holds true for some ppl & like you, I also have no idea why they hide it or manipulate such things. May b for the obvious reasons(society & what would other ppl say)!
Still you are not committing a crime by saying that 'THEY BOTH CHOSE EACH OTHER'.

But rather giving heed to what others have done or said, it would be better to improve our lives & make it more beautiful!

Sowmya :) said...

Gosh! Do such stuff still happen?? I thought love was getting more acceptance now. Guess we, as a society, have a long way to go. I totally understand your POV. Such situations make me want to go AAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH.

coffeeismypoison said...

totally true soumya...i saw this n heard it with my very own eyes n ears...n jyoti is my sister n nikhil my bf so they both know who it is im talking about...its pathetically funny.thanks for commenting!!!

Ruchika said...

I know EXACTLY what you mean!
My ma n pa had a love marriage and even after 22 years the family still insists on calling it an arranged marriage.
And its specially more infuriating with the joke joke me ho gaya scene. Really. And I've SEEN it happen (thankfully not in my family) but in the family of a distant relative.

I totally agree with you, such people DONT deserve to fall in love. There share should be distributed among us. x_x