Saturday, October 07, 2006

so few n far between...

im talking abt long distance relationships...since i am currently in one,have been for >1.5yrs now,i love it n i hate it.the distance keeps us close n yet v get lonely,occasionally,the type of loneliness that no amount of time spent free of charge over the fone can cure,the lack of romance gets to us sometimes,especially wen ur already broke from talking over the fone uve got no moolah left to make him feel special by sending say it rankles that wen v wanna cry v dont literally have a shoulder to do so on nor does someone come wipe our tears n our nose either.but theres a lot of comfort deriveable from the fact that if this is working out,imagine how much fun it'll be when v're together.imagine how much v'll value each other,v DO value each other...more probably than those who spend every waking moment with each other n then end up takin each other for granted...

know wat the system in my college was?and probably has been for ages?simple,a gal n guy r a couple,emotionally n physically,for the duration of the course say 4.5yrs,following which they say bye bye nice to have known u n then turn around like they dunno each other,never barely takes some of em any time to hook up again.
so i was wondering,don't these ppl feel lonely after constant [and i do mean constant] companionship,care n etc?suddenly the one person u used to share ur lifes occurings in totality with has gone off n ur not/cant/dont wanna do anything abt it.i know apart from my odd looks,this was one reason i was single in college.well no not exactly,i did have someone for a short while cos he was unwilling to commit even after 2yrs of intense friendship n emotional bonding,which rather left me hearbroken but i think it was better it happened then than after 4 yrs.he was nice enuf not to make any false promises,at least.thereafter life was not the same.n i certainly refused to consider another male for any relationship other than friendship.but by then majortiy of my class assumed i was a 'psycho'which iwas not having proved that to most ppl by by not only clearing my 2nd yr exams but doin so wid a mom was there thruout n widout her id never have managed it.
i hate ppl who think that to have 'major depressive illness with generalized anxiety ds'n to take meds n go for counselling implies that u r nuts.ur not,u
r just sick n lonely,n i so wish more ppl wud realise that.
but then a yr after id bin sick,i got in touch via sms wid an old family friend,a guy who id liked a lot wen i was a kid,whom id known since immediately after i was born cos hes 1.5yrs older to me,whom i liked for his shyness,decency n politeness.i knew he was revamped n had become n there was no chance he'd b single so i thot,out of the blue that he'd make a gud friend.n believe me,the way things were goin for me,i needed one of those,i had my BGP[best gal pal] but i needed another few frienz.n he became one,n he was hot n all but still shy,decent n polite.wierd.b
ut i found i still liked him.and he was decent to boot.and SINGLE.
how quickly another man can take the place of it actually tuk me almost 2 yrs to get over my ex.but get over i did,n though im now in a long distance rishta,i doubt ive ever been happier.the one important thing i learned during my self imposed exile from the opposite sex: NO MAN CAN MAKE U HAPPY,UVE GOTTA DO THAT URSELF,BUT YES,MAYBE ONE DAY A MAN CAN AKE U A WEE BIT HAPPIER THAN U ALREADY ARE.

which is hsbf[hot sexy boyfriend] changed the twinkle in my eyes to a sparkle,the spring in my step to a bounce n the lilt in my tone to a song.n i love him for it,n i know this relationship willl work it is working out now.

3 lost souls found themselves in my mirror....:

Manoj said...

hi Sweta
Your blogs are so intense. I also feel these things but was never able to express.
You pour your heart out in these blogs.
I am addicted , want more :)

nikhil said...

Hi chotu...
U know i feel da same abt ur blogs n watever u put on paper...dey r so intense so honest so different so u..
wish i cud write like u....rly.
Luv u so much...
kp writing gud stuff lke dese.
m always wid u.


it was nice there are so few a people who can understand the long distance relations coz to do so u have tobe in one,and i have been and i still am.sometimes it feels like too hard too hopeless but than u realise that if someone can love uthis much even after being so far away,u`r the luckiest.