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Saturday, October 07, 2006

the sex war...;oD

like ive said earlier,im no feminist.[did i really?doesnt seem like it.lol.maybe i was...LYING!!]however i do believe that um...though ladies r more sentimental n illogical than males,they tend to b less DUMB,HEE HEE.
observe above,for
instance the male thought patterns i found online,n oh i so totally agree.ha!i mean,yes sex forms a large part of their mind maps.how/when/why/why not/how fast can v get laid...ha.
however,trouble is,my bf n me dont fit into the usual pattern.i like alsations n shark fish n great danes n german shepherds n turtles n alligators n snails n fish breeding and he?he likes...ahem,pugs,dobermans and rabbits.i said fine since ur letting me turn ou
r future home into a part zoo u can keep the rabbits but they dont really DO anything çept...but theyre so cute...oh ew nikhil cute?they breed n crap n get eaten up.thats all they do.im not responsible if one of my dogs eats em up...
another thing.im always after him to go get laid but no sir hes v..happy wid me n alll but hey he has to get SOME experience!so this one time he went over to an older girls place[a friend of his sis'to collect a parcel] and i called him n said this is ur day dude!!go for it.
n he was astounded at the oddity he calls a gf.

then i was v.earnest n got around to callin every 5 mins to find out if anything had happened n the last time i called he sounded like he was in the midst of something n said hed call later.

so i figured he was on the way to losing his virginity n then i promptly starting bawling like a kid.half an hr later he calls me n im like"so?how was it?

how wat wat?
u know.

no!
sex?
please!i dint have sex.
then wat were u doin?!waahhh u were sounding so wierd n u said
ud talk later n all?!!wahh...i got so worried i thot u were..u know...
ha!i knew ud think dat.but i told u i cannot!but anyway U said
i shud.y were u upset?
just cos i was.
ok that makes sense.
of course it does,just cos im tellin u 2do something doesnt mean u DO it!i mean,how of ten u listen to me anyway?yd u have to listen this time?

but i dint!
i know but still!

huh?

now u may wish to observe the female brain pattern:

i do get alot of headaches.however when nikhil sent me his bandana to wrap around my tresses and look stylish i dint use it for that,wen i was cleaning my room n the dust allergy hit my senses hard,i used it to wipe my watering nose [sorry nikhil.]...when he sent me the cutest wooden locket with a jute chain depicting my sun sign [aquarius] i wore it but once,most of the time it is hanging from my soft board as a decorative item.the mirror in my room was taken off to b replaced by a softboard n showpieces replaced by a fishbowl.
nikhil puts the cute things i send him inside his cupboard to keep em from gettin dirty n stared at while i display every single thing hes sent me in order that i can tell everyone "my bf gave it to me


hes an excellenr driver.he can drive in a straight line even while talking to me simultaneously.me?id drive straight for exactly 20mins n then start lookin around,once in fact i wanted to check out the movies list pasted onto a tree n i veered off towards in the same direction causing my sriving instructor to gasp in horror n me in delite öh look X men is playing!" now c,gals dont enjoy things like x men.not really,me i dream of bein storm,my fave character.

i get feww bucks a month,nothing luxurious,enuf to eat n drink,not b merry
[ok just a lil bit] n if i withdraw say "x"amount.from the atm,in all probabilty i will spend x-x n have o amt left in my pocket when i get to the room.which is sad.n not true for nikhil.he saves.he gets lesser pocket money than i do plus he knows exactly wat hes spent it on.he writes it in a diary:o(

i cannot remember dates.not my parents annivs,not his parents,not anything.beyond my birthday,his,parents.thats all.he however nikhil remembers not only his birthday,but the rest of the familys including mine as well.he reminds me at the en
d of the day to wish my parents a happy anniv.
i cannot get my feet into shoes.i wear floaters with straps in order to keeo my ankles in control.cos if i dont i fall all over the place.HE however has this thing for gud looking shoes.he swears he'll get me to put my feet in stilletoes one day.he wont wear clothes or shoes unless theyre branded.i shop at flea markets:o)

nikhil irons his clothes,daily.and polishes his shoes.i hang my clothes straight while they're drying so that there're minimal wrinklles.n i figure,hell watever
s lefts bound to straighten it self out once i get the dress on.
he makes no lame excuses.i do.
why dint u eat dinner?
um.hum.cos theres a rat in the mess.
why dint u send my letter?
oh the er post office ppl have gone on strike.
why dint u go for work?

oh dint u know?its udupi bandh today.

u get the idea.he needs clean sheets,he even has WHITE ones.i darent use white ones cos it takes less than an hour for me to dirty them.he has to urge me to talk.now though i may write non stop,talkings a different matter altogether.he always wants to talk issues out b4 v get down to any other bizness.i try not to.

he rocks at ball games though.im a brown belt at karate.wen i was on the volleybal team my job was to stay away from the ball at all costs.i was merely a fille
r.

and oh he can sulk like a woman!i dont sulk,i yell!i suck at gold digging as nikhil himself reminds me,he sez,wen i complain of the lack of materialism in our romance ü shud've got urself a rich bf".

my attention span lasts no longer than 10-20 mins,whether its in a lecture or a conversation.after that i switch off.he knows it n boy does he hate it.i alwa
ys end up telling him 'oh i was just thinking abt wat u um just said.'óh were u?watd i say then?

he is sharp n certainly doesnt have a listening problem.oh dear.
wen he reads this im in big trouble.but i hope the rest of u have urselves a good laugh :oD








6 lost souls found themselves in my mirror....:

nikhil said...

Honey its just as true as r relationship is....n i rly appreciate ur art of writing things in a such a wonderful n whacky manner.

coffeeismypoison said...

wel thank goodness ur ain't pissed;o)

Little Girl Lost said...

LOL! LOL! LOL!
you are the cutest couple. i LOVED this one...
its very interesting that you and your BF are so different. my man and i are so similar we could have been siblings (actually its my bro and i who are chalk and cheese :))
its our second year together, but we've been friends for a long time now. and thats why i think my relationship (and yours too, i get a feeling) is so much fun. like my parents, we too are best friends...
and i loved that you encouraged him to get laid and then feaked out about it :)
reading you is a treat.

coffeeismypoison said...

Thank u LGL!
Sometimes...i wish we were slightly similar...wish he loved reading...or even liked it :o) he doesn't have the patience...so i summarize things for him. Lol.
Being best-est pals is the way to go!

hasnahlily said...

at this age my attention span is reducing by the minute...surprisingly though, i read this entry till the last bit..and even re-read some sentences which tickled me..very entertaining with a touch of sincerity that touches me, profoundly.

coffeeismypoison said...

@Hasanahlily : Thank u!! It's all true...so it is sincere :o)
i love ur blog...snappy!