catchin' up...or not....?

did u ever wonder what happened to ur old school/college/work pals?ever google them now?email em n ask them if they remember u?tell them what ur upto n ask them whats new with them?wish em on birthdays/festivals/blah days?arrange to meet up over a cuppa?laugh n remember old old times?ppl u had in common?most ppl do stuff like that yeah?
me not so much.
heck,me not at all really.

...and i really do not know why!when a old friend calls home [mom,im away,forEVER]
asks to meet [im takin a flightout someplace,damn...lousy timing huh...?]
wants my number [er..ooops,i think that one digit went awry]
asks me what im upto [oh u know...busy existing]
tries tellin me what theyre upto [isn't the weather just...bitchin!!]

i don't know...i simply don't know why i don't like catching up with ppl i've known,and even known well...in the past...its not like i'm a failure in life,or anything...then...what would explain this pathological need for total and complete disconnection with people from the past?hmm.has anyone ever felt that way?i guess we ALL feel that way regarding people whom we've had lousy experiences with,but what about with other,normal relationships...or is it just me?
it just seems like so much work,for a relationship with someone...who knows what u were all about 10yrs ago,and so will assume u r still the same old same person...which u r not...cos things have happened,both gud n bad,in those 10yrs...which have made u what u r now...and what ppl look for in their old friends...is for a comforting familiarity...which u cant provide...cos Ur not the u they think u r...not after all that,not anymore!!!
sometimes,when i come across ppl from my school/college,online,i just have a look but don't communicate...seriously...even ppl who have been best friends[ I'm in touch with exactly 1 friend from high school]...maybe i'm not such a gud friend,maybe..i'm just being a true aquarian![ugh,so lame...but so true!]
wonder why,wonder what would happen,if i did msg someone from school one day,out of the blue.wud he/she remember me?b pleasantly surprised or shocked to hear from me?wud he/she reply?so i will.lessee what happens.