Friday, November 24, 2006

Love Marriage, How long will the honeymoon last

Hi Sweta
How r u
You had asked about my opinion regarding love marriages, and match making by horoscopes. Horoscopes I don't believe, that I have already told you.
Love marriages !! sounds so very romantic, but the honeymoon ends very soon.
Marriages , they say are made in heaven. So love or arranged, whats the difference. To understand this you should know why one marrys.
Marriage, as an institution, has developed over the centuries. The basic aim of life is to propagate.

  • So copulation and procreation is the major reason behind marriage. But that can take place even out of marriage though some religion forbid such relation.
  • The next factor is security, the husband providing social and financial security to the wife in return of her services, sexual and labor. But now with women getting educated, employed and empowered, don't need financial or social security.
  • Third reason may be legal. Law in most countries does not give any sanction to children born out of marriage. So if you want your child to be respected in the society, you have to marry.
So I feel the need for marriage is gradually diluting, with unmarried people and live in relationships gradually getting social recognition.

Coming back to arranged(or Pragmatic) verses love(or Romantic) marriage. I feel that for a marriage to have longevity, there must be some binding force which doesn't change with time. On that point love marriage fails. Love is a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person. This intense desire or attraction may be because we see certain qualities in our object of desire. Like the dimple on her cheeks, or his smile, or her hairs falling over her face, or the way he shrugs his shoulders, or her sensuous voice. But will these characters able to hold your intense desire life long. No, after some time you will start hating the way he eats, or the way he dresses, or the way she cooks, And the honeymoons over.

But in arranged marriage, the binding force is external. One is married because of the will of their parents, or the society. So there is a social pressure upon both to stay in marriage. also there is no expectations you have to live up to. You are married not by your choice so you don't have to pretend. You have to accept each other as they are. love and caring and companionship develops gradually.

Mine was arranged marriage. My dad and her dad knew each other, but we had never met before marriage. I had my own crush in my colony, and surely she must have had her crush in her college. But now after 18 years of marriage , I cant imagine life without her. Even 3 hours of separation is unbearable.
have to go now.



2 lost souls found themselves in my mirror....:

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