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Friday, May 01, 2009

ToTaLLy TabOo part-7


This is the last post in the series. Bear with me, because it's also the longest.

Preksha remembered all the reasons she had fallen in love with Rajat in the first place. She was tired of all the flimsy, soppy, fawning, fake guys who
proclaimed their "true" love for her but never seemed to "love" her enough to commit.
Then there was Rajat. The fellow was shy, sweet and had a great deal of difficulty proclaiming his love for her but was more than ready to commit. He wasn't
wild. He wasn't lavish. He was simple. He was a gentleman. He wasn't expressive in front of anyone, he staunchly hated public display of affection, even the minor sort. Even in movie theatres...he wouldn't kiss he unless they were almost the only two people in the hall. But he'd always get her frooti and popcorn. Even if they were overpriced and so she refused...but he knew she loved popcorn. And playing with his fingers in the bucket. He was chivalrous to the hilt. No matter where they went, he always put her ahead, watched every step, if she exclaimed in delight over anything...he would secretly get it for her.

He cared
about her feelings...she could tell him anything...everything. She made sure he knew her most deepest, darkest thoughts...he didn't have many of those himself...being uncomplicated. He knew, everthing about her and still wanted to marry her. That aspect of their relationship never wavered. No matter what she did...said...felt...or whether or not his family approved.

No longer was he Mama's boy. Of her he simply asked that she remain as she was. Nice and polite.
Towards his family. And of anyone ever said anything against her, behind his/her/their backs...he told her to come inform him immediately. He would make sure he indicated, however subtly, that he was aware of what was going on. And voice his disapproval.

"Why don't you ever tell them straight out that you hate the way they behave towards me? "


"Baby...despite their attitudes, behaviour, complains...I've never once...left you. That in itself is a strong statement isn't it? Thats something they seem to be
realising slowly. That I'm marrying you, sooner or later. Whether they like it or not. You are wonderful, a good human being. You have been nice to them despite knowing what they've said about you. So they never really have anything to say outwardly against you. For that, Thank you. It makes it so much more easier for me to defend you...stand up for you."

How was one to argue against such gentle logic? He was right. Fighting never solved anything. Love did.

*************************************************************** Once she left his place after a terrible fight. They had both said ugly things to one another. She as usual, had no balance in her cell phone. He was the hoarder. On her way back, she recieved smses from the Cell company informing her that her mobile had been recharged with money. And then he called her telling her that he'd recharged her phone and to keep smsing him till she got home and to call him once she reached...even if she didn't want to talk to him.

He just wanted to know she was safe.


He respected her immensely. Her career. Her moods. She must have taken it for granted that he would always understand how she felt without saying a word.
She forgot he wasn't a mind reader. He had great difficulty translating girls. But there was never a time, when she had verbally asked him to support her, and he had denied. He always supported...what he was aware of.

It wasn't just him, Preksha realised.
She had changed too.
Stopped sharing her feelings. Brooding. Being uncommunicative. It wasn't like he never asked. He
did. Sometimes she would catch him staring at her...but he always turned away when she caught him. She was the one to withdraw from the bed. Agreed he was disinterested initially...what with work, family life etc...but when he did try, subsequently, she withdrew.

Or was cold in bed.

There was a problem. She had to fix it. Dysthymia was fixable. She needed to pull up her socks.
Maybe Rajat had his faults. But who didn't? Everyone was sweet and sour.

************************************************************************************** For their movie date, Preksha dressed carefully....wearing a pleated, above knee length, silvery gray skirt. And a tight black top. Accessories. High heeled shoes. Locks left loose, slightly tousled. His favorite scent.

Rajat made sure not to wear green, to leave a day's stubble just the way Preksha liked his beard, A blue, button down shirt with well fitting denims and his
handsome black shoes with the slightly pointed toes. Her favorite perfume.

They were both nervous. Funny, you'd think 2years into marriage, they would stop feeling like nervous teenagers...but this was like their first date.

Ting Tong!

"P could you please get the door?"
"I'm busy...!"
"I'm busier...Please get it!"
"Fine." Preksha mumbled.

"For P?" , said the flower delivery guy presenting her with a huge bouquet of lilies...in a basket. "Huh?!", gasped Preksha...her heart beat rapidly, and in fear...were these from Nimish ? Had he found her home address from the office files? How could he pull a stunt like this? It's not like she had let him see that she was changing, within, she alone knew how confused she was.

Nimish or Rajat?

Husband or lover?

But Nim was more than just a lover. He had become her friend. But would she have been interested, at all, in him if Rajat had been what he was now?

Before she could even look at the card, Rajat came up behind her and asked..."Like them?"

"All my love,
Rajat. "

"They're from you! But...but...we're just leaving...! You didn't have to...", stuttered P.

"No...I didn't have to. I wanted to. Someone as beautiful as you...deserves...something as beautiful..."

"well...they're gorgeous...far more so than I am..."

"Not to me. To me, you are incomparably breathtaking. Not just on the surface...that is transient...you my love, are gorgeous beneath the surface."
He reached out and kissed her cheek. They left for the movie.

************************************************** In the dark theatre, the movie was playing... Rajat had not yet made a move to hold her hand. He was nervous. She wondered if he would hold hands...it had been forever since they'd done so... A song played...

Rehna tu

hai jaise tu
thoda sa dard tu
thoda...sukoon.

Preksha gasped softly. The lyricist may well have been reading her mind. This song was about her Rajat. Fussy Rajat, Rajat who would first scold her and then love her. She turned to him and softly placed a well manicured hand on his cheek and stroked it gently. She felt him smile, he turned his face to kiss the inside of her palm...she slid her hand down and he raised his hand up to capture hers, gently, and they entwined fingers... And they did not let go till the end of the movie. It was worth foregoing the popcorn.

*************************************************


Rajat was torn up. On the one hand, he couldn't wait for the movie to finish in order to do what he had planned after that. Then again, he hadn't anticipated
the first real intimate moment he had shared with Preksha after nearly a year...

"Will you help me pick out a present? I mean, you don't have to pick it out, just come with me and tell me if you think she'll like it...I mean, I know she will
because I saw her browsing on ebay...but she deserves real diamonds...I don't trust ebay, even if she does. C'mon, skip the gym. Just once.", pleaded Rajat to Nimish.
"Dude...I'm glad things are better for you...but its kind of wierd helping you pick a gift for your wife when I don't even know her name!! Let alone her likes and dislikes! Why don't you ever call her by name?", mused Nimish.
" I do. Just not in front of anyone else. "
"Because...?", prompted Nim.
Rajat was silent. For a moment...
"Well...she's mine. Only mine. I love her. And I don't want to share her. With anyone. I don't want anyone to know her as well as I do. I just ...cannot bear it. I can't help, being so possessive about her. She's innocent and I'm there to take care of her. Protect her...if you will. I never listen to a single word against her. Not from anyone. Not friends, not family. Not even my mother. I know her. She's sweet and pure. And honest. This...is the first thing she has ever hidden from me. And I know, that it's my fault. But I know she loves me, maybe she's angry but she loves me. And I also know...that once we're OK, she will leave this..other guy. This substitute. This man, the thought of whom makes me burn with hate, anger and shame. She will. I know her.", Rajat said, red faced.
"Let's go."

They went to Rashi. One of the most well known jewellery stores in town. And the most reliable too.
"Can you please show me the diamond heart I reserved the other day?"
"Of course Sir...But as I told you previously, there was no need for reservation...we do have other similar pieces. Nevertheless...here it is..."

It was exquisite...a sterling silver wound heart, lined by a delicate row of diamonds on one side.


"It's brilliant...you have to get it. ", Nimish offered his opinion. Maybe he would get one for Preksha too...he had never yet given her any jewellery...this would
be a nice way to start. She never wore anything around her neck.

"You said you have more such pieces...may i see one ?", asked Nimish.
"You too??? For who? Anyone I know.,,?", asked Rajat curiously.

"Sure you tell me your wife's name and I'll reciprocate buddy.", joked Nimish.

"Point taken. Good luck...I'm sure she'll love it. "

The jeweller who worked on commission was simply delighted. With good reason. ************************************************

Dinner was excellent. They were the only two people in the restaurant. The waiters made sure they got their privacy. Rajat fed her salad, hummus, khubz, roasted chicken and more...she fed him. There was much hand holding and smiling and looking into each other's eyes. The waiters smiled surreptitiously.

**************************************************

When they got home, Rajat opened a bottle of wine. Turned on the Music system to a playlist he had created. Priscilla Ann sang...


"Dance with me..."

She came into his waiting arms...cheek to cheek...
"You never used to slowdance."
"I still don't ... it's just an excuse to hold you in my arms."


I was a little girl,
alone in my little world,
who dreamed of a little home for me.


"You'll always be my little girl...", he whispered into her ear...


I played pretend between the trees,
and fed my house guests bark and leaves,
and laughed in my pretty bed of green.
I had a dream That I could fly from the highest swing. I had a dream.

"I'll make your dreams come true. I'll never forget them, not ever again...", he continued.
Preksha's lips trembled. Her eyes began to sting.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

"You were the answer to my prayers, you're my life, my wife, my everything...", he said, even as he left a teardrop fall on his shoulder. He felt her tremble and held her closer.

I had a dream

That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream. Now I'm old and feeling grey.
I don't know what's left to say
about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well,
there's many tales I've lived to tell.
I'm ready now, I'm ready now,
I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.
I had a dream.

"I want to grow old with you. We'll never be grey my sweet. Forgive me. For everything...No matter how little I say it...I've loved you, in all the ways possible...but most especially like my baby girl...since the time we got together.", now the tears were falling in earnest. He wiped them... Kissed her eyes. One by one. Her cheeks. Her forehead. Her hands. Her heart.

He brought out the Sterling silver chain and heart locket, and placed it around her bare neck.

She touched it...and kiss him back, in earnest and in apology.
The night that followed was Preksha's way of saying she was sorry...and that she forgave him. They were in love again, and they intended to stay that way...

*************************************************


Nimish couldn't wait to meet Preksha. He wanted to see her face...when he gave her the heart. His heart.
But when he saw her face, he knew she had been crying...
"Honey..?Is everything ok? Did He...", enquired Nimish.
"No. No...He's...well...he's...wonderful. I...I can't do this...US ... anymore. I'm going to give my marriage another chance. I'm...so sorry. I have a chance...to be
happy again...and to feel good while doing so...about myself...I don't know..what to say...I'm so sorry...for hurting you...", said Preksha in tears...
"But we're so good together?!"
"I know...but we're not real. I never stopped loving my husband. I just...thought he stopped loving me. But he didn't. "
" I love you too."

" I know...but I don't love you. I love my man. That's why I was...just waiting for a gesture...and I went back to him. I'm sorry. I can't live without him.
But...you helped me...you helped me stay alive...for that I'll forever in your debt."
"No. No no no...I Love you! No debt. If you're happy...really happy...then I have to let you go...I just...wanted to give you something...as a token of my love...but now I guess it'll just be something to remember me by....". Nimish said...with a breaking heart and then he glanced at her neck upon which to place his gift...his heart...

But her neck was no longer bare.
She was wearing someone else's heart.
Rajat's.


"Actually my love, it's ok. I should go. You... just...be happy...ok? You owe me that! You owe me...I love you."
"Nim, I'm...sorry...", Preksha apologized...hating herself for breaking this man's heart. Nimish left, eyes blurring with tears.
It was over.


******************************************************


Afterword
: Thank you, all of those who have been reading and following this...and all those who have been leaving their comments. You really encouraged me to keep going. And I hoped my story and I were able to live up to your expectations. I just wanted to say...That Rajat and Nimish are both close to my heart. They are the opposite sides of one coin. We both have similar opposites within us. And if we're lucky...we have someone, who loves us back. So it's upto us, to make sure they never doubt how much we care. This is a request...please show those you love...bf/gf/kids/mom/wife/sis....that you love them. Before it is too late.

40 lost souls found themselves in my mirror....:

Sumit said...

Nicely wrapped. Let me put it this way, a nice chocolate mousse cake if topped over with warm chocolate sauce, the pleasure one derives from it is only to be savoured. and of course the confectioner be applauded for a good job!!

Badz said...

Yes! Finally you put the last part on. :-D I loved the story! I was a combination of a sad/happy ending.

I think it will make a lot of people open up their eyes. ;-)

coffeeismypoison said...

@Sumit : ur comment was delicious to wake up to. Made my mouth water for chocolate! I'm glad u likes the ending :)

@Badz: It's nice to know that there is someone WAITING to read what one's writing~! I hope it does serve some purpose, open some eyes...

Aniket said...

Can't think of a more perfect ending... or the beginning? :D

If you ever get a chance you must see the play "Shakkar ke paanch daane" you'll louvhh it.

You kept the interest intact throughout the seven parts. That's a great achievement. Trust me. I just couldn't stop myself when I wrote serial fiction. I posted two parts in one day... ergo defeating the concept of serial fiction. lolz

Two thumbs up.:D

coffeeismypoison said...

@Aniket : Yeah...this is the ending u wanted right? Glad u like it!
I'll try to see that play...
And i too got excited and did 2 posts in one day. but then i realised my mistake...
no more serial fiction for a bit...
but i do have a short story coming up...stay tuned!

Ruchika said...

Ping me and I'll tell you what I want to.

*How's that?*

Solilo said...

You changed your Blog look and ended a 7 part fiction and I missed all. :(

coffeeismypoison said...

@ Solilo : Its ok...you can catch up :) what do u think ? of the look and the story ? Do let me know...when u get time...

SGD said...

Nice warm feel-good ending with a sad touch....Great!

coffeeismypoison said...

@SGD : Thanks SGD... thanks for following it till the end...

Sumit said...

oh!! n urs was a great one to more or less start a day with... if 3-4am qualifies as that :P

coffeeismypoison said...

@Sumit : 5 am ;P

Sumit said...

Well, I was up studying had an exam. Why on earth would you wake up that early?? Are you an early riser?? :O

coffeeismypoison said...

No...I was up writing and at 5am i posted this...my BF's shifit ends at 730am n he wakes me at 8...which he did n since we had a date i just, woke up. :o)

Shoe Girl said...

Started reading yoyr story.... :)
lovin it so far:)

and thanks( you know for what!)

blogrolling u...

Little Girl Lost said...

Yay! they made up! :) and did they have a nice weekend?

coffeeismypoison said...

@Shoegirl : No thanks necessary...just write :o)

coffeeismypoison said...

@ LGL : Yep...they made up :o) and they ended spending the weekend as a family having a nice time. of course in the end they ended up having a tiff but still it was ok... :o) they owe a 3rd party something nice ;)

@Shoegirl : Dont forget to tell me what u think of it once ur done reading it !!

Crafty Shines said...

i loved it! all 7 of them! :)

this was really well written and well worth the wait too Coffee!!
my heart does go out to Nimish, but life's like that sometimes...everyone we meet plays a role...and many a times we play our role, and want extensions to our role,but that's not how life emant it to be...i like how Nimish bows to that, without a scene. not many can do that!

hats off to ur thought in the afterword...so true, the ones who matter most are most taken for granted. we expect them to "know" always... but won't hurt once in whil to say it, na?

was great following all this Coffee...now, what's next?? :D

coffeeismypoison said...

@Crafty shines : Thanks darling! I know...I loved Nimish's role...he also loves her...thats y he just wants things easier for her.
None of the 3 characters are "wrong" or "bad" or "evil." They're all just painfully human.
Well...next is a short story...the title is longish...but i shud post it in a few days...hope ul read it!!

coffeeismypoison said...

But everyone, just FYI : the real life rajat...would also gracefully bow down if Preksha said she was happy with someone else. This rajat knew P really loved him and him alone.

Harshad Joshi said...

What was that??? This is toooooooooo biiiiiig...!!

Sweta said...

Really liked the end and the afterword. What hooked me on to this story was that i have been through a similar experience. I could identify with all the characters and their emotions. Just like P I went back....but unlike her I will soon get married to the Rajat in my life. Nimish continues to be my good friend and will always be.

coffeeismypoison said...

@Harshad : yes! try reading it before you worry!

@Sweta : I don't know whether to sympathize or reassure...but...if u can add me on googletalk,I'd love to talk to u :) in depth. my id is dr.do2much@gmail.com
[i just don't wanna say anything here, too public na :o) ]

Navita said...

hey I am glad you visite dmy blog...coz tht way I got to visit urs....I must say you have a fluid writing style that attracts and interests the reader. although haven't read your entire series...the last post was good enough.

thanks for visiting me n now on't be a stranger :)

coffeeismypoison said...

@Navita : No i wont b a srranger...ive subscribed to ur yummy blog :) i hope ul read my stories and tel me what u think :o)

Pesto Sauce said...

You do write well

w@lkin' di$@$ter! said...

@Pesto sauce : thank u :)

chirpy-paaro said...

Nice ending...I think this is true for most of Indian gal..they never fell out of husband's love.. :)

coffeeismypoison said...

@Chirpy Paaro : Yeah...probably. plus its easy isn't it ? Also not many guys, in real life, are like Nimish... :o)

Girl Next Door (gnd) said...

My first time here (and, thank you for stopping by my blog)!!
Ended up reading part 7 of the story - worked perfect for me cuz i always get tempted to read the ending ;-)

What a great story!! Absolutely true that nothing is easy...even the truest love needs a LOTTA hard-work! Been married for over 12 years now and have known him for more than half my life...and we still work hard every day to keep it goin.

Look forward to reading your short story soon!

coffeeismypoison said...

@GND: HEY!!! u came! and u can't get away with readin the ending!! Bad girl! pls read the whole thing....it shud make u feel nice :)

Imp's Mom said...

awwww.... beautiful end or should I say beginning! loved it...all parts...

coffee angel said...

@Imp's Mom : thanks! Finally...!

Zeba Talkhani said...

Goodnight!! not in a position to comment right now!

CoFfEe AnGeL said...

@Zeba : Hope u slept well and tht ur exams go well...will be eagerly awaiting ur comment!

Zeba Talkhani said...

Ok. So I am back after one hectic exam. Only two more to go now!! Yay..

Ok. Back to your story. I loved it. I really did. Right from the beginning to the end. I liked the way things changed and the way they ended up. But I found P a bit superficial. As in, you get her gifts and take her out and she is happy!! MAybe because it is a short story there was not much time to build on her character. But I loved it. You could always pen down a book. Effortlessly..

CoFfEe AnGeL said...

@Zeba : Naughty girl, ur back here!
Well, about P, she's a woman...we need to be shown, that our beloved is thinking abt us, wants to spend time alone with us..cos women think abt their beloved a LOT of the time, despite many denials ;o) it's not about gifts per se...its about the work that goes into keeping a relationship/marriage fresh, vital...both parties need to know that they're putting love and care TLC into their relationship :) imagine if the guy u loved, loved ur cooking, and after marriage u stopped cooking for him? Dumb analogy i know...but works!

Pretty Me!! said...

i really enjoyed every detail, every feeling, every thought !! just fantabulous :)

CoFfEe AnGeL said...

@Prats :Thanls cutie~!!