ToTaLLy TabOo part-7

This is the last post in the series. Bear with me, because it's also the longest.

Preksha remembered all the reasons she had fallen in love with Rajat in the first place. She was tired of all the flimsy, soppy, fawning, fake guys who proclaimed their "true" love for her but never seemed to "love" her enough to commit.
Then there was Rajat. The fellow was shy, sweet and had a great deal of difficulty proclaiming his love for her but was more than ready to commit. He wasn't wild. He wasn't lavish. He was simple. He was a gentleman. He wasn't expressive in front of anyone, he staunchly hated public display of affection, even the minor sort. Even in movie theatres...he wouldn't kiss he unless they were almost the only two people in the hall. But he'd always get her frooti and popcorn. Even if they were overpriced and so she refused...but he knew she loved popcorn. And playing with his fingers in the bucket. He was chivalrous to the hilt. No matter where they went, he always put her ahead, watched every step, if she exclaimed in delight over anything...he would secretly get it for her.

He cared about her feelings...she could tell him anything...everything. She made sure he knew her most deepest, darkest thoughts...he didn't have many of those himself...being uncomplicated. He knew, everthing about her and still wanted to marry her. That aspect of their relationship never wavered. No matter what she did...said...felt...or whether or not his family approved.

No longer was he Mama's boy. Of her he simply asked that she remain as she was. Nice and polite. Towards his family. And of anyone ever said anything against her, behind his/her/their backs...he told her to come inform him immediately. He would make sure he indicated, however subtly, that he was aware of what was going on. And voice his disapproval.

"Why don't you ever tell them straight out that you hate the way they behave towards me? "

"Baby...despite their attitudes, behaviour, complains...I've never once...left you. That in itself is a strong statement isn't it? Thats something they seem to be realising slowly. That I'm marrying you, sooner or later. Whether they like it or not. You are wonderful, a good human being. You have been nice to them despite knowing what they've said about you. So they never really have anything to say outwardly against you. For that, Thank you. It makes it so much more easier for me to defend you...stand up for you."

How was one to argue against such gentle logic? He was right. Fighting never solved anything. Love did.

*************************************************************** Once she left his place after a terrible fight. They had both said ugly things to one another. She as usual, had no balance in her cell phone. He was the hoarder. On her way back, she recieved smses from the Cell company informing her that her mobile had been recharged with money. And then he called her telling her that he'd recharged her phone and to keep smsing him till she got home and to call him once she reached...even if she didn't want to talk to him.

He just wanted to know she was safe.

He respected her immensely. Her career. Her moods. She must have taken it for granted that he would always understand how she felt without saying a word. She forgot he wasn't a mind reader. He had great difficulty translating girls. But there was never a time, when she had verbally asked him to support her, and he had denied. He always supported...what he was aware of.

It wasn't just him, Preksha realised.
She had changed too.
Stopped sharing her feelings. Brooding. Being uncommunicative. It wasn't like he never asked. He did. Sometimes she would catch him staring at her...but he always turned away when she caught him. She was the one to withdraw from the bed. Agreed he was disinterested initially...what with work, family life etc...but when he did try, subsequently, she withdrew.

Or was cold in bed.
There was a problem. She had to fix it. Dysthymia was fixable. She needed to pull up her socks. Maybe Rajat had his faults. But who didn't? Everyone was sweet and sour.

************************************************************************************** For their movie date, Preksha dressed carefully....wearing a pleated, above knee length, silvery gray skirt. And a tight black top. Accessories. High heeled shoes. Locks left loose, slightly tousled. His favorite scent.

Rajat made sure not to wear green, to leave a day's stubble just the way Preksha liked his beard, A blue, button down shirt with well fitting denims and his handsome black shoes with the slightly pointed toes. Her favorite perfume.

They were both nervous. Funny, you'd think 2years into marriage, they would stop feeling like nervous teenagers...but this was like their first date.
Ting Tong!
"P could you please get the door?"
"I'm busy...!"
"I'm busier...Please get it!"
"Fine." Preksha mumbled.

"For P?" , said the flower delivery guy presenting her with a huge bouquet of lilies...in a basket. "Huh?!", gasped Preksha...her heart beat rapidly, and in fear...were these from Nimish ? Had he found her home address from the office files? How could he pull a stunt like this? It's not like she had let him see that she was changing, within, she alone knew how confused she was.

Nimish or Rajat?
Husband or lover?
But Nim was more than just a lover. He had become her friend. But would she have been interested, at all, in him if Rajat had been what he was now?

Before she could even look at the card, Rajat came up behind her and asked..."Like them?"

"All my love, Rajat. "

"They're from you! But...but...we're just leaving...! You didn't have to...", stuttered P.
"No...I didn't have to. I wanted to. Someone as beautiful as you...deserves...something as beautiful..."
"well...they're gorgeous...far more so than I am..."
"Not to me. To me, you are incomparably breathtaking. Not just on the surface...that is transient...you my love, are gorgeous beneath the surface." He reached out and kissed her cheek. They left for the movie.

************************************************** In the dark theatre, the movie was playing... Rajat had not yet made a move to hold her hand. He was nervous. She wondered if he would hold hands...it had been forever since they'd done so... A song played...

Rehna tu
hai jaise tu
thoda sa dard tu
thoda...sukoon.

Preksha gasped softly. The lyricist may well have been reading her mind. This song was about her Rajat. Fussy Rajat, Rajat who would first scold her and then love her. She turned to him and softly placed a well manicured hand on his cheek and stroked it gently. She felt him smile, he turned his face to kiss the inside of her palm...she slid her hand down and he raised his hand up to capture hers, gently, and they entwined fingers... And they did not let go till the end of the movie. It was worth foregoing the popcorn.

*************************************************

Rajat was torn up. On the one hand, he couldn't wait for the movie to finish in order to do what he had planned after that. Then again, he hadn't anticipated the first real intimate moment he had shared with Preksha after nearly a year...

"Will you help me pick out a present? I mean, you don't have to pick it out, just come with me and tell me if you think she'll like it...I mean, I know she will because I saw her browsing on ebay...but she deserves real diamonds...I don't trust ebay, even if she does. C'mon, skip the gym. Just once.", pleaded Rajat to Nimish.
"Dude...I'm glad things are better for you...but its kind of wierd helping you pick a gift for your wife when I don't even know her name!! Let alone her likes and dislikes! Why don't you ever call her by name?", mused Nimish.
" I do. Just not in front of anyone else. "
"Because...?", prompted Nim.
Rajat was silent. For a moment...
"Well...she's mine. Only mine. I love her. And I don't want to share her. With anyone. I don't want anyone to know her as well as I do. I just ...cannot bear it. I can't help, being so possessive about her. She's innocent and I'm there to take care of her. Protect her...if you will. I never listen to a single word against her. Not from anyone. Not friends, not family. Not even my mother. I know her. She's sweet and pure. And honest. This...is the first thing she has ever hidden from me. And I know, that it's my fault. But I know she loves me, maybe she's angry but she loves me. And I also know...that once we're OK, she will leave this..other guy. This substitute. This man, the thought of whom makes me burn with hate, anger and shame. She will. I know her.", Rajat said, red faced.
"Let's go."

They went to Rashi. One of the most well known jewellery stores in town. And the most reliable too.
"Can you please show me the diamond heart I reserved the other day?"
"Of course Sir...But as I told you previously, there was no need for reservation...we do have other similar pieces. Nevertheless...here it is..."

It was exquisite...a sterling silver wound heart, lined by a delicate row of diamonds on one side.

"It's brilliant...you have to get it. ", Nimish offered his opinion. Maybe he would get one for Preksha too...he had never yet given her any jewellery...this would be a nice way to start. She never wore anything around her neck.

"You said you have more such pieces...may i see one ?", asked Nimish.
"You too??? For who? Anyone I know.,,?", asked Rajat curiously.
"Sure you tell me your wife's name and I'll reciprocate buddy.", joked Nimish.
"Point taken. Good luck...I'm sure she'll love it. "

The jeweller who worked on commission was simply delighted. With good reason. ************************************************

Dinner was excellent. They were the only two people in the restaurant. The waiters made sure they got their privacy. Rajat fed her salad, hummus, khubz, roasted chicken and more...she fed him. There was much hand holding and smiling and looking into each other's eyes. The waiters smiled surreptitiously.

**************************************************

When they got home, Rajat opened a bottle of wine. Turned on the Music system to a playlist he had created. Priscilla Ann sang...

"Dance with me..."
She came into his waiting arms...cheek to cheek...
"You never used to slowdance."
"I still don't ... it's just an excuse to hold you in my arms."

I was a little girl,
alone in my little world,
who dreamed of a little home for me.

"You'll always be my little girl...", he whispered into her ear...

I played pretend between the trees,
and fed my house guests bark and leaves,
and laughed in my pretty bed of green. I had a dream That I could fly from the highest swing. I had a dream.

"I'll make your dreams come true. I'll never forget them, not ever again...", he continued. Preksha's lips trembled. Her eyes began to sting.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be. The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

"You were the answer to my prayers, you're my life, my wife, my everything...", he said, even as he left a teardrop fall on his shoulder. He felt her tremble and held her closer.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree. I had a dream. Now I'm old and feeling grey.
I don't know what's left to say
about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well,
there's many tales I've lived to tell.
I'm ready now, I'm ready now,
I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing. I had a dream.

"I want to grow old with you. We'll never be grey my sweet. Forgive me. For everything...No matter how little I say it...I've loved you, in all the ways possible...but most especially like my baby girl...since the time we got together.", now the tears were falling in earnest. He wiped them... Kissed her eyes. One by one. Her cheeks. Her forehead. Her hands. Her heart.

He brought out the Sterling silver chain and heart locket, and placed it around her bare neck.

She touched it...and kiss him back, in earnest and in apology.
The night that followed was Preksha's way of saying she was sorry...and that she forgave him. They were in love again, and they intended to stay that way...

*************************************************

Nimish couldn't wait to meet Preksha. He wanted to see her face...when he gave her the heart. His heart.
But when he saw her face, he knew she had been crying...
"Honey..?Is everything ok? Did He...", enquired Nimish.
"No. No...He's...well...he's...wonderful. I...I can't do this...US ... anymore. I'm going to give my marriage another chance. I'm...so sorry. I have a chance...to be happy again...and to feel good while doing so...about myself...I don't know..what to say...I'm so sorry...for hurting you...", said Preksha in tears...
"But we're so good together?!"
"I know...but we're not real. I never stopped loving my husband. I just...thought he stopped loving me. But he didn't. "
" I love you too."
" I know...but I don't love you. I love my man. That's why I was...just waiting for a gesture...and I went back to him. I'm sorry. I can't live without him. But...you helped me...you helped me stay alive...for that I'll forever in your debt."
"No. No no no...I Love you! No debt. If you're happy...really happy...then I have to let you go...I just...wanted to give you something...as a token of my love...but now I guess it'll just be something to remember me by....". Nimish said...with a breaking heart and then he glanced at her neck upon which to place his gift...his heart...

But her neck was no longer bare.
She was wearing someone else's heart.
Rajat's.

"Actually my love, it's ok. I should go. You... just...be happy...ok? You owe me that! You owe me...I love you." "Nim, I'm...sorry...", Preksha apologized...hating herself for breaking this man's heart. Nimish left, eyes blurring with tears.
It was over.

******************************************************

Afterword : Thank you, all of those who have been reading and following this...and all those who have been leaving their comments. You really encouraged me to keep going. And I hoped my story and I were able to live up to your expectations. I just wanted to say...That Rajat and Nimish are both close to my heart. They are the opposite sides of one coin. We both have similar opposites within us. And if we're lucky...we have someone, who loves us back. So it's upto us, to make sure they never doubt how much we care. This is a request...please show those you love...bf/gf/kids/mom/wife/sis....that you love them. Before it is too late.