For the past week, it feels every things been just so so WRONG.

take any and in fact, everything.

nothing I'm reading is getting retained.
I'm homesick.
I've been sick.
I got assaulted by 2 auto drivers.
My relationships are going through a lousy phase. All of them.
I'm so losing hope.

compounding to or maybe due to all this... I'm very very sleep deprived. I just wanna go to bed and make a fresh start. Patch things up. Plug all the leaky holes. I just want to wake up to a good day. Is that so much to ask... ?

I want to go home, but, see I have some things to do... I want to return home as a person my parents want me to be. I want to be healthy, diligent, fit and ... calmer. I have to... I'm tired of being taken care of and worried about by my folks. Want to give them reassurance slightly similar to the one they have given me. so I've set me a target... a pretty serious one. Giving my self till august. to get healthy. in every possible way.

maybe its hormones, maybe its the "RETURN OF THE LARD, the re-gaining of lost weight!!"
maybe its just ... lack of motivation.
A sad realization that... the more you go out of your way to be appreciated/liked/loved... the more you get taken for granted.

I miss my mom. and my dad. and my family which is basically them. I miss times before I had gone for college. and become a huge... literally and figuratively a mess... physically, mentally, academically. I'd gone and become a complete underachiever. me. who was always among the top 5 in my class. ALWAYS.

this week has been probably the worst since I've come back to Delhi. Alone.

I think I'll go , play with my dog, Google. She makes me feel, like I'm being so nice to her even if all I do is pet her, every once in half and hour. play with her. No grudges... nothing. no secrets.

maybe in my next life.
or the next.
in my next life, I'm reincarnating as a 3 toed sloth. Keep it simple ya know.