and a huffing and puffing we shall go...!

so,this is the "n"th time im 're-trying' to lose my excessive blubber.im fed up really.i lose tons of weight,get excited and eat heartily and then have to try relosing it alll over again.ugh.disgusting.i wish,rarely,that things wudnt taste so gud...then there wud b no temptation,n then dieting wouldnt b sucha struggle!oh and working out,lets not forget that.i prefer swimming over any other activity really,cos im a v.graceful swimmer plus u just cant fall in water!n i get loads of compliments wen i swim.if im walking or jogging,im usually the slowest among scores of ppl and i look [according to nikhil,who insists its absurdly cute-like a rolling football :o/].not the look i was trying out for dude.in water,i look great!u cant c me!!
the only trouble wen swimmin is,i catch a damn cold everytime i go swimming thus deblitating me for days to come n providing me with an excuse to laze.not good.

ever noticed that wen something,no matter wat,is forbidden to u,or is bad for u...it appears irresistible?blieve me i know.wen im not a diet,all i wanna do is eat,n eat.so,its most of the time for me then.n eat what?all kindsa junk.not normal everyday food,no,crap!

another thing is...wen ur fat and working out,i front of other lean ppl...theres always at least one person who passes a mean comment and u really cant do anything cos all he did was call u fat in a mean manner and u cant even disagree.really puts me out n i usually return from my walk crying.i know,im a sissy.

n of late,im starting to feel like a real failure,someone pathetic who cant even control her own senses and body.n its not a nice feelings.no,it makes me feel like crap.so i decided im gonna do something abt it.yea,u know,the real reason ppl who r fat are so is cos thats wat they think,all day long "im so fat!" n the reason thin ppl r so is cos all they think is 'im so hot.'..so,im gonna think thin.eat well.n swim.[i will have to take a pill but i think itll b worth it.]n then lessee shall we?
i made a vow 4yrs back,wen i out on weight,that i wudnt wear jeans till i lost weight,n now im tired of crappy clothes.really i am.so wish me luck and will power i reallly need it!
:o)