Tomorrow really never comes!

How often have you said to yourself all or any of the following... : [By the way feel free to add to this list as you please.]

1.] I'll go to bed early tomorrow.
2.] I'll exercise tomorrow.
3.] I'll eat salad tomorrow.
4.] I'll stop drinking cola tomorrow.
5.] I'll start being happy tomorrow.
6.] I'll wake up earlier tomorrow.
7.] I'll make time for my family tomorrow.
8.] I'll be nicer tomorrow.
9.] I'll cook and not order in tomorrow.
10.] I'll dress better tomorrow.
11.] I'll dare to wear makeup tomorrow.
12.] I'll make time for myself tomorrow.
13.] I'll organize the cupboard tomorrow.
14.] I'll dust the furniture tomorrow.
15.] I'll read that book tomorrow.
16.] I'll call my friend tomorrow.
17.] I'll groom my dog tomorrow.
18.] I'll go to the beauty parlour and endure pain tomorrow.
19.] I'll install that Norton antivirus tomorrow.
20.] I'll shop for pretty shoes tomorrow.
21.] I'll study more tomorrow.
22.] I'll be more regular with my medications tomorrow.

and etc... I could go on ad infinitum... but you get the hint. It's procrastination I'm talking about here. Its one of the few things I specialize in and quite frankly after 20 odd years of doing it, I'm starting to see the pitfalls. You kind of tend to fall behind, and thats never good.

And honestly, the tomorrows never, ever come...they turn into promises of more tomorrows and more promises...which materialise into nothing solid. Nothing real.
[ Not always mind you, but more often than not.]

So what is the point, of allowing ourselves one ostentatiously last, moment of freedom, one last splurge, one last day of pure sloth...?
It's so we're fresh for tomorrow, the one that...you know by now, never comes.
How about trying right now, for a change?
Replace the tomorrows with Right Now...and see the difference....!!
After all, why wait to do something good for yourself or someone else?

Sunk in mediocrity.

This may seem like a very narcissistic post, but its not. Quite the opposite actually. Thing is, I was always above average, till 7 years ago. Always excelled at anything I put my hands, and mind, to. ANYTHING.

Six months into college, life got to me.

And somehow I never quite learnt not to let it get me so down, I don’t recognize myself anymore. I’m not even a shadow of what I used to be. I took every little thing to heart...earlier till 12^th grade, I was all of these and more :

- Slim and fit.

- V.diligent

- Confident

- An academic topper, always among the top 5

- Pretty and beautiful

- In demand among the opposite sex.

- Intelligent

- High on self esteem.

- Health conscious.

No, I wasn’t perfect. I had my flaws. I was also :

- Arrogant [ no more]

- Vain about my looks [definitely no more]

- A terrible leader [nope, not anymore. I’ve learnt to follow those I’m leading]

- The kind of girl who thought nothing of breaking a guy’s heart.[ had my heart broken.i know how it feels now.]

- Condescending [ only to nikhil.]

- Aloof [yes, sometimes still.]

- Cold [if I hhate someone.]

I was chatting with a friend when I told him to name some people who were in my league and working [my league = low achievers league.] and studying. When did I start thinking of myself as an underachiever? Worse, when did I sart believing it and acting upon it?? All the good things I was in school were simply because I never doubted them, I was always sure I was. It didn’t matter what someone else said. I had utter faith in myself and my abilities. There was never any room for doubt.

Life and people, both get you down. But maybe thats because you let them. What does it matter if someone won’t talk politely to you? Or won’t respond to your desire for a meaningful relationship? Maybe a few exams have gone badly, but does that mean they ALL should ? So what if one lousy guy or conceited girl said you weren’t good looking, does that mean you really aren’t? Who is anyone else to decide whether you’re good enough or not?

And people, well they have some nerve really. They forget that they themselves are as far away from perfect as they can get, but they’ve got no problem criticizing other people!! They don’t stop to consider the fact that their words or behaviour maybe hurting other people. And when they do get to know, they’re not even sorry!! It’s amazing really.

But the point I’m getting to is, no matter how unfair life is or how mean people are, if you let them get to you...change you for the worse, then they’ve won.

You can’t lose against life! And certainly not against useless people! If anything, one should learn lessons from life and definitely so from those people...from life – how to live and from those people? How not to be! At least give those people’s lives some meaning.

Go, go ... go out and be better, no no, go out and be the best that you can!! If someones criticizing you, chances are they’re simply jealous of you or you make them insecure. Not everyone likes to be related to a doctor or someone more educated than them. Some people get jealous and that drives them to be mean and spiteful. But you cannot hold yourself back from being your best because of their immaturity. Thats their issue, and bad behaviour will only hold them back. And theres absolutely no reason to desire revenge or want to hurt them the way they have you. Just take satisfaction in the fact that “what goes around, comes around.”

And there are good lessons to be learnt from life. Remember what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger. Its true!

It makes no sense that we’ve stopped believing in ouselves and started believing in others, particularly those others who may not necessarily wish us well.

Go out and be the best you can, because you owe it to yourself to do so!! Don’t let negative elements win.

An OfFer!

The thing about people always rushing around is, they leave me, a sloth, exhausted!

Consider this, On the night of the 18th Feb, Nikhil went for work at 2030hrs, worked till 630hrs on the 19th of feb. Rushed home, packed his belongings and drove 5hrs to Agra city for his cousin's wedding. Upon arrival, he ate, had tea, closed his eyes for a few minuted and then rushed to lend a helping hand in the "work." that is ever present in a marriage household, At 1830hrs he was still supervising work and then he went to egt dressed. Thereafter, he attended the wedding, the main part of which is in the weeeeee hours of the morning. [read 3 AM ] ... God knows when he slept, but he arrived in delhi/NCR at around 1830hrs and by 1930 was ready and waiting for his cab to go to work. till the morning of the 21st, 730hrs.
I'm guessing he'll spend the entire of the 21st feb sleeping as on the 22nd Feb, he is again going to drive to chandigarh , 4-6hrs away, for the reception of the aforesaid cousin. wow.
I had planned to see him on the 23rd, but I'd feel awfully guilty doing so. Seeing as how rushed he is, so I have an offer for him. Mostly because I'm feeling terribly sorry for him. Not that hes complained. All he says is he doesn't have a moment to relax.

So Niksy, The next time we meet, we won't do anything. I'll make you some nice, hot tea/coffee, make some snacks, n we can watch a movie I've downloaded, or you can just, sleep or hear me talk, you don't have to even think or reply! Just R-E-L-A-X! I can give you a head and shoulder massage too if you' d like it. I know you would! :o) Any thing you want. Just, no movement,,,from you.

You know you are totally broke when...

You know you are totally broke when...

...When you are down to fighting with the junk dealer [kabadiwala/कबदिवाला] for petty cash... No kidding.

These men can be found at all hours of the day, on their cycles, singing at the top of their voices... कबदिवाले।
Be it rain or shine they're always out there... which made me think they must be really poor and needy to be working so hard. I felt quite sorry for them.

That was until I heard that they're not so poor, quite well off really, having color screen mobiles, cable T.V etc. Today when I tried to be big hearted and offered the man my junk for free he refused...! Then he proceeded to cheat me!
"you name your price.", he said.
"this is my first time. You tell me what you usually give.", I replied...honestly.
After due consideration he said," Three rupees per Kg of paper and 4 rupees for these empty plastic bottles." thereupon he started packing the goods into a huge sack.
Hmm.
I went out to the balcony and called out to another dealer and asked him what he would give for the same old junk..."Six rupees per Kg.",he yelled...and started coming upstairs.

I sauntered back into the kitchen, laden with new and potentially enriching information and said, " The other fellow is giving me Six."
" Is he?"
"Yes,now are you also going to do that or should I just call him upstairs?", I ventured abandoning all caution.
"The rates have decreased since last Sunday, ask him if you want.", he said stubbornly.

So I did...the other fellow had now dismounted the cycle and was looking for the stairs. "No, NO... You go...find someone else... I was just gathering information!", I said feeling incredibly guilty.

There was 15kgs worth of junk at home. He paid me and I let him out, following him downstairs... hailed a vegetable man and Bought my moneys worth of veggies. When the dealer told me the price of what would soon be dinner, I wondered if Vegetable vendors are actually richer than Kabadiwalas. Prices seemed to have skyrocketed... something I would know about had I read something apart from the tabloid. When he got to asking for 106Rs, I showed him the century note, pointed at the kabadi wala and said, " Friend I'm not going to be able to pay you more than what I'm holding here and frankly I didn't expect to be paying even this much."

We compromised at a century.

BoYfRiEnD iN TrOuBLe!

I completed 100 posts!!

Recently Nikhil and I had a mini fight over the assumption that I'm tomboyish. Little does he know I've made lists of things for him to get me, all of which are feminine to the hilt! You asked for it baby...read my list, go to the store and weep.

1.] Knee length high heeled boots.
2.] Chambor bronzer with blush.
3.] Mac Kajal pencil.
4.] Mineral based foundation. Revlon etc.
5.] Dior curling mascara.
6.] A silver locket of Ganesha.
7.] Silver Earrings.
8.] A pretty Silver heart locket WITH earrings.
9.] A haircut and styling by a professional stylist.
10.]A french manicure/ pedicure.
11.]A number of pretty nailpolish bottles as per his own taste because nothing I ever wear is nice enough!
12.]Perfume specifically Issey miyake. Amazing.
13.]Lip liners and lipstick in nude shades.
14.]A pretty dress, wrap style or whatever, with straps though because I don't believe in magic.
15.]Body shop care products.
16.]A Body scrub brush with natural Bristles.
17.]A Black, knee length skirt.
18.]A fast track watch with an unusual dial.


Oh and honey, Would you be a darling and make sure I get these things within the next 3-4months. One of the main reasons I'm not feminine in the exhibitionistic manner is my lack of any income whatsoever. But you have a good job. You can be feminine on my behalf...thanks in advance!!

P.S : I'm not kidding.

The grand, under appreciated indian wedding Part-2

Continuing our discourse on Indian weddings. We hope you enjoy this, please leave your comments and thoughts!

The Groom pays his real and pseudo Sister's in Law and cuts the Ribbon thus gaining entry into the Shaadi Ka Mandap [Stage]. Thereafter his beautiful bride is called in.

She arrives looking, well, like someone else usually. It could be in a good way or she could also look like the "Ghost Bride." depending upon how much shes spent on "professional make up." The dressing up of the bride is note worthy. For a month to a fortnight before the wedding the Bride splurges on "Pre Bridal Packages", whichi involves "slimming, facials, instant glow, full body bleaching/waxing/threading etc"...this ususally comes to around 20-25 thousand rupees.. The "Bridal package" consists of hair/makeup/dressing up...varying between 5-10 thousand rupees. The Bridal outfits cost at least 10 thousand each, depending upon the number of occassions. This is the bare minimum mind you.

Then there is the heavy jewellery which usually can never be worn again. If you rent it, its nearly 2 grand rupees, if you buy it its between 8.5 to 9 grand. FAKE jewellery mind you. The bride makes her grand entrance surrounded by sister's and/or friends supporting her, sometimes physically, on both sides. The photographer asks her to pose...the professional photographers don't come cheap either. He clicks everything, from her face to body to hands which have been professionally painted with henna/mehendi the previous night.

The mehendi people aren't cheap and it doesn't help that the many female free loaders get their hands painted for free too!! Their bill comes to around 6 thousand...depending upon how many women took advantage of them.

Anyway, it's now time for the Jaimal - Garland. The garlands are cold and wet. But beautiful! Sometimes the flowers are imported. The bride and groom place the garlands around each other's necks...their relatives/cousins/siblings are usually fighting to be the first to put the garland...like it's a noose or a bell on a cat.

Then the B & G Sit on the throne like chairs on the stage. And now comes the most ridiculous part of the wedding. "The meeting of relative/friends and giving of gifts". Here all the people present come onto the stage, give their gifts [usually gifts given to them by others.] and sometimes money... then they pose by the sides of the B & G like long lost loved ones and all of them plaster on fake smiles and wait for the photographer to click! Well maybe the B & G's smiles are genuine at the thought of all the presents and cash awaiting them in toto.

In the meantime, the guests start hogging at the buffet tables. Another round of bickering begins. Bitching more like.
" This is cold."
"This is yuk."
"I can make this at home, much better than this myself."
"This is the wrong recipe."
"WHAt on earth is this?"
"Whats the point of chinese starters?"
"The tandoori bar makes you wait."
"In ABC's wedding, this was better..."

None of these problems prevent them from pigging out however. The next day, when the get the runs, instead of blaming it on their insatiable apetites, they blame the food. Ha! Imagine wasting lakhs [at least 2-3 Lakhs] of rupees on such people.

Anyway,

coming to the fera's part [ circling the holy fire 7 times] , the groom's shoes get stolen, a tradition started thanks to a yesteryear bollywood blockbuster " HUM AAPKE HAIN KOUN " , once the fere get over

another round of negotiations start similar to the one discussed before between the same parties and after a settlement is reached to which both parties don't agree wholeheartedly , the groom finally gets his shoes back. Coming to think of it the price he pays for the shoes the second time around is usually 10-20 times the actual cost.. the shoes he'll probably never wear again, assuming he isn't dumb enough...(we could've said he is smart enough, but considering he agreed to a wedding, and an extravagant one at that we wrote otherwise)...

Coming to the dowry part... oh to rationalise it , its called "gifts" [have to be politically correct at all times] these days... something to make a bride's stay comfy at groom's place...a bribe of sorts...The Bride's parents basically have to set up her "home." A car, TV, Refridgerator, A/C, BED, Jewellery, Clothes etc are given...Lack of dowry can lead to a miserable married life for the bride, wherein she is taunted by her in laws and/or husband all the time.

Wedding day is supposed to be the bride's happiest day.... we have nothing against traditional values but it has been commercialized to such an extent that it all seems like a farce... an excuse to blow one's own trumpet... i gave so much dowry.. spent so much on the wedding... gave a honda civic/city etc etc.

Basically we don't give a rat's ass about what others do and why they do it.. all we know is we'd prefer a simple wedding in a temple with friends and family...followed by a reception and save the rest of the budget for say :

1.]an extended honeymoon ;)

2.]A down payment on a plot of land/ flat/ house.

3.]Furniture for the new home.

4.]Savings bonds for upcoming children.

5.] charity and

6.] etc.

What is the point of being well educated and smart and intelligent if you're just going to repeat stupid mistakes just to "fit in" in a society that just thrives on imitating each other ?

thanks for the patient reading. Coffeeismypoison and Abinitio.