all the RaGe!!!

yes...its a terrible picture isn't it?but don't worry...in all probability its an view of the inside of the mind of a person,who for a long while,has been suppressing his/her irritation...slowly it turned to anger and finally that which u see above...rage.someone at war with their self...such a terrible conflict...

Rage...which hurts more...in intensity and in number of ppl,when finally expressed...
Rage...which causes us to hurt the ones we love...
Rage...which after its passing fills us with extreme regret...why didn't we control it,oh why?
Rage...which causes us to smash breakable objects and is satiated by shattered pieces...
Rage...which appears in our eyes as madness...
Rage...which makes us hurt ourselves...
Rage...which causes us to kill...
Rage...which may never have developed,had we been free to express our irritation in the first place...

A wise person asked me what i would do to a person who caused me great harm?
nothing significant,i said...id not tell anyone...
why not?doesnt he deserve it?
no.no one deserves to be ruined.
no one?but he may have ruined ur life?
still...why should i ruin his?id probably not recommend him as a person to anyone else though.
thats it?why?why wudn't u ruin his life?his career?isn't it dumb?
dumb...i dont agree.its just the way i think...not everyone agrees...
u know what i think,the wise man said,i think ur suppressing ur anger...n ur scared of what u may do shud u decide to express it,u may murder...kill...
I wudn't kill...but if i ruin someones life...they may kill themselves...i wudnt want that.
yes...either way...metaphrically,u cud kill...in ur rage n anger...
yes...i thot...when im outraged...i throw cups...breakable ones...n i dont feel better till they actually break...i dont regret it much either.everyone keeps telling me to control my temper...but...
but u do control it...wat happens is...it reaches its storage saturation and then u burst in anger...n then ppl comment n say ur shud control ur temper...
yes!!thats the pattern exactly...
then y dont u try being more assertive regarding the things which annoy u...so that people dont get on ur nerves and u dont accumulate anger...that shud take care of the rage...
but ppl feel bad...if i try getting assertive...
thats their problem.not urs.

yes.
their problem...not mine.
they dont think abt my feelings while...
rage...damages so...so much...so deeply...for so long...it can take years n years before u realise...thats it was rage all along...rage at ppl...for trying to repress u,for trying to emotionally blackmail u,for trying to make u live a life they dreamed of,for trying to protect their feelings even if it harmed u...for manipulating u,for making u feel bad abt urself,for not empathizing with u,UR feelings,but taking advantage of ur love for them to ensure they r not hurt by u.

but what abt u?
shud u keep living with this?
shud u allow urself to get more damaged?
so much so that u become incapable of living a normal life?

rage...something to think about.
unless u get rid of rage,of anger...unless u stop letting ppl hurt u...how will u expect to find peace?
rage...temporary madness...
may become permanent...
y shud U have to live with it?
who cares?does anyone really care enuf...to help u...to let u be urself?
then y shud u care so much?
care abt urself...if u dont,who will??

ah innocence!!!

when did U last laugh with such joy and abandon?
pic courtesy : manmeet aka mannu [who shud b a professional photographer not an RJ.[but u do RJ well too mannu]

does being romantically comitted at 17 make sense?

Said a wise man...Being romantically comitted at 17yrs of age doesnt make sense : Doesnt it though? why not? my mom was married wen she was 16,as she keeps reminding me ;) but that was 'marriage'...today,i wonder how teens would define 'commitment'...i really do..cos we all have different opinions regarding what 'we' think is comittment. for instant...in Europe ,most married men have a mistress, but they're still 'comitted'...cos theyre wives r usually aware of the scenario...and dont fight it.they are in fact,by their own admission,'happily married"!... In India...the of dok saabs times[hehe...kiddin ;o)i meant waaaay before eg:mughal times] i doubt there was a thing called 'open relationship'.yes,the "big" ppl did have affairs,whole harems full of concubines in fact..but even that was not considered infidelity..just routine...women understood the inherent promiscuity of men and well...indulged it...but...no divorce,separation etc. today...commitment...had to define.for the teens who commit...here lemme say that by commitment i mean a mutual agreement made out of intense affection, not to be um...shall we say unfaithful..to another person for the duration of the current relationship. u c? no promises of permanence. so...why not?why not 'commit'?this is do-able.the teen fulfills his/her emotional,physical,mental,intellectual,n blah watever needs without the burden of marriage...and in laws and kids [no offense,i was a kid once,an unholy terror] added to this is the fact that if u not part of a couple ur uncool. who needs the added peer pressures? kids today have enough to deal with...isnt it awesome that they have someone to help them out and someone who needs them in turn? is a steady relationship at 17yrs bad o is a snorting dope at a night club st the same age,alone n single bad? u choose. kids today are v. mature...mostly cos of the explosive increase in exposure. so wat if sex ed is banned? u think kids today r not savvy enough to find out whats going on with their bodies? have the govt. heard of a lil thing called GOOGLE perchance? no promises of permanence. such is the case with life. n with marriages today as well. v dont match after 10yrs of marriage lets divorce. fine. to each his own mode of attaining joy. heck u get one life...b happy. just dont hurt anyone. commitment today at 17? understandable. todays kids...v.v.sad. having a partner...always nice. love? also always nice. but a warning...know when the relationship is harming u/partner...have the wisdom then to reach a civilized closure. another mutual understanding.

before n afterrrrr!!!!

i wondered how much of a noticeable difference is visible following a few months of dieting n excercisng[ahem...questionable amounts]...has made...so i decided to post some pix!!
BEFORE :
me alone[man,arent i a mess!]








me wid my mum...who looks younger:





AFTER :

a day out job hunting!

dressed for an interview :o)

foolin around after nik got a job!