What a friend means

You know how sometimes you maybe friends, and I mean really great friends with someone for a really long time and I mean really long, say 7 odd years? And how you became friends in the first place thanks to your blog and hers? But you never get a chance to meet until recently when your friend comes by to town and you have her over for a sleepover and man you realise how and why you've been such good friends all this time.

It's like it is with my other best pal, my husband, more or less.

She was every bit as curious to see my home, all the little corners and nooks, my fridge was her own, she wondered where my books were kept, she came up and met my mom in law and pop in law, giggled with me at my ever late for work hubby, miraculously got my dog Maya to fall in utter desperate love with her, watched horror movies with me, drank several glasses of fruity Himachali wine with me, thoroughly relished the homemade pizzas I'd made for dinner, watched my wedding videos and poked fun when and where I would have, enjoyed watching me tell her who I liked and who I despised and I felt so free and unencumbered unlike how it usually is when entertaining.

She was here, my buddy, my soul sister and the only one other than my mom and Nikhil who love and accept me as I am and for all my gazillion flaws...see the best in me. What a refreshing change from people for whom no matter what you do or how lovingly or how much, nothings ever good enough, and you're always judged in the wrong way. 

We met through her blog and mine when I replied to one of her blog posts. We maybe different in a lot of ways as you can see from visiting her blog link and then mine but...the hearts are the same. Unapologetically crazy. She is extremely intelligent and sure to be a famous author one day not too far down the line. The extremely intelligent part of her is what drew me to for a friendship with her and it is part of what still continues to sustain it. However now it matters very little to me, I think if when we're old and she/I are senile, we will still be tight/

I gave her a nice batch of hazelnut chocolate truffles I'd whipped up while she slept, a book by Monica Ali that I wanted her to read and a silly pretty but useless (like she wanted) sand art souvenier from Dubai. Went to her place, met her mom in law, sis in law who insisted that my hubby come inside and have some coffee and bong sweets which were unlike anything I've ever had so far. She made us feel at home and welcome and showed us a Bong wedding tradition whereby a fish is dressed up like a bride and sent to the bride's home for good luck. There's Amrita posing with the fish :)
Something she doesn't know. The day after she left I was extremely grumpy and when my mom started asking me why I couldn't help but tell her I was just sad she left. :'( such is life.

Shaadi ka Laddoo...

So in the two odd years since I last blogged about cabbages, kings and other odd things, a lot has happened in my life. Well firstly I completed my masters in the field of  obstetrics and gynaecology, following which I got married to the love of my life and someone my regular readers maybe familiar with.Six months into wedded life and my first job stint at a corporate, where by the way I met the world's coolest boss, I realised my real passion lay in the field of assisted reproduction (IVF). So what next but to do a fellowship in the same and now that that is over, I'm back home with my beloved, job hunting...

Prior to our wedding the planning was a lot of fun, shopping was exhausting and there were negative elements beyond our control. But the part I did not appreciate was the multitude of people telling me and my betrothed, how different life is after tying the knot, and not in a positive way either. Mind you He and I never actually solicited any advice but it was more like words were thrust on us.

Had we gone by people's quotes and experiences, we may well have never made it to the altar. I didn't realise there were so many unhappily married couples out there. Why? Not to sound  sanctimonious but marriage is really not one tenth as scary as we were warned it would be...of course now people will add that...wait till you have a kid then watch how things suck in your so called happy marriage...  I suppose if there is a mutual desire to make your partner's life easier and happier than it already is, things will work out for the best.

Having being in a stable relationship for nearly 8 years before the actual wedding we had ironed out most of our differences on all possible levels be they career related, family related, financial, expectations wise...and today we each try our best to stick to our promises and keep each other comfortable. Sure sometimes we quarrel but on trivial matters. For the most part we enjoy each other's company, enjoy debating, sharing ideas, watching movies,  shows, plays, taking brief trips to see new places, trying various culinary experiments and making mistakes, first fretting then laughing over them. It helps that he completely knew all facets of my nature and I his before marriage so there were no shocks there. If anything he is at times shocked at the fact that I am more capable of adjustment that he is lol. Are you reading hon? :)

SO I'd like to share a dish I sometimes make for my better half. It is something he enjoys having with his morning tea or to take to work in his tiffin. It's called Zebra cake and is very simple to make...

the main thing is to get the pattern right and thats it.

Zebra Cake :

Take any normal cake batter, butter cake is best as it is rich and spongy. Divide the mixture into half and to one half add 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder, a tsp of instant coffee and/or melted chocolate. stir till no lumps remain. Thereafter grease your circular baking tin or silicone cake baking thinggie and do this. Pour in the very centre of the dish, a circle of the butter cake batter, as it spreads in its centre pour a dollop of the chocolate batter and continue alternating the two till you run out of batter. Initially it looks like this and

later it should look like this

bake it in your oven or microwave (not the best idea by the way even with the cake setting) and what comes out looks like this when cut...enjoy this slice of cake with your loved ones and tea or coffee (mine) :) Look on the positive side of your life whether you are married or not, it is beautiful indeed.

Turning Thirty...

So I turned 30 years old today...at this very moment I'm reveling in the gloriousness of just being with my husband and family (that's right, i got hitched, and to the very same very old love of my life :) ).
The clock turned 12:00AM on the 7th of a chilly February night as my parents in law and I waited at the hospital seeing to an ailing relative. Now you all know how much I love spending time in hospitals so it was oddly nice (odd for most people, nice for weirdo's like me). Little did I  know my mom n pop in law were more focused on the  clock's hands than anything else in order to be the first to wish me, which they did...my darling mom in law sang happy birthday to me on the way back home which shes been doing since I got married and makes my day special all by itself.

Of course I miss my parents a helluva lot, but some things cant be helped like my Dad's work projects and his inability to live without my mom (cute eh? ). It has been a while since I spent my birthday with those who in fact created me which is sad but they will be coming for a visit soon which is awesome!!!

What has changed in my life since last I blogged?
Well I got my postgraduate diploma in Gynecology and Obstetrics in 2012
6 months later I wed the love of my life, Nikhil
6 months later I left Delhi to pursue a fellowship in infertility medicine in Banglore
which lasted 6 months
the exams of which I passed
and am now back home!!!

What have I learnt these past few years ?

Love
Laugh
Live!!
 (in a nutshell, more to come up later in forthcoming posts, stay tuned)

Loving one's body

“look at this fat ass of mine!!”

“I don’t know how to get rid of these love handles!”

“have put on 6kgs after marriage, don’t know how to get rid of them.”

“I just look at food and bloat!!”

“I wish my breasts were bigger.”

“I just Hate my body!”

Majority women are dissatisfied with their bodies today. I say women, because it is usually women who are discontent with their physical form.

How about, for a change, we love our bodies. Respect them. Our bodies, however they maybe, are constantly at our service and they serve us to the best of their ability. How often do we stop to appreciate this? Only when ill or disabled.

From the heart to the brain to our skin to each of our senses, every hair follicle is at our beck and call, doing its best to protect us and keep us well. How to we reward our body? We curse it for not being as physically appealing as norms dictate. We feed it utter crap in the form of junk food and drink. We smoke. We do not exercise, preferring to be couch potatoes instead. We avoid nature instead of immersing ourselves in it for nourishment. Then we complain we are too fat, unfit, unhealthy, have poor color and cannot climb ten steps without sitting down altogether.

When we love someone, or something, we do our utmost to take the best possible care of it or them. Why not show the same love towards our bodies. If we did then we would give ourselves the best possible care in the simplest, but most fulfilling of ways. Then we would find little to complain about. Our bodies are our own, our homes, and they deserve thanks every time we go to bed and as soon as we open our eyes to arise. We ought to thank them in advance for the services they will provide us throughout the day and thank them at bedtime for services provided. In turn we should promise to take care of our bodies and fulfill that promise.

Think about it!! 

Stuff I truly believe with all my heart and soul

There a few things I am a strongly believe in. As often as possible I do them, and I'll keep doing them consciously till they become a way of life :-)
... I believe ... :

- We must be kind....regardless of whether we recieve it back or not
-We must be polite...regardless of whether the person we're talking to is or not
-We must help others...regardless of whether they help us back or not
-We must work for the greater good...for helping those who no one else wants to, for healing hurts, for reducing sorrow, for enriching the lives of others,for doing good stuff :-)
-We must pursue knowledge or how to better ourselves, our mental and spiritual reserves, for doing more God's work
-The truly wise, don't go about flaunting their wisdom.Nor do they make others feel inadequate.
-True wisdom comes with time, not by listening to lectures.
-True wisdom is never derived
-True wisdom needs no master,just an open mind
-True wisdom means knowing we know nothing
-True wisdom preaches not
-God is in us. Yes even in our bosses, whether we see it or not
-Everyone's good.
-God is in the little things. the sun the moon the rain the birds the kindnesses the compassion...the flowers dancing the stars twinkling
-Happiness lies in the small little things. someone calling to ask how you're doing...someone showing they care...the rain tapping on the window, a perfect cup of tea, a patient getting better, a baby laughing :)
-Show you care.Everyone in the world is having a hard time.Show then that you're there.
-Words matter...No one's a mind reader. The right words have the power to make or break a person. To make someone climb down the ledge or jump off it.
-Love deeply
-Be generous.
-don't let those younger to you pay!
-Show some compassion...any and everyone needs it
-Give everyone respect, regardless of whether you think they deserve it or not
-Don't shout at anyone, it is demeaning and painful
-Read a lot...about anything you're interested in.
-Lend a helping hand
-Stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves.
-Never put another person's likes/dislikes/hopes/dreams down.
-Never act like you're better than anyone...no matter who you are, you're not.
-Be fair
-Expect nothing
-Just do,just give
-Take joy in other's smiles
-Never let anyone cry alone, regardless of what they say
-It's not by how many cars you have or expensive perfumes you own or branded clothes you wear that you matter. Thats just temporary...what matters is who did you help? Who did you go out of your way for? Did you help someone who you know cannot help you back? In anyway ? Mark of a person is his/her character. His/her habits.His/her compassion for the less fortunate.
-Don't boast about other's accomplishments as if they were you're own...its sad
-Be kind to animals
-Be extra nice to old people. They usually feel redundant.

Thats it for now folks.

You know you're secretly thinking of marriage when...

 Dedicated to my better half, and anyone else of marriageable age :-)

[Female point of view here].

- you surf the net looking for wedding pictures, any one's wedding pictures.

- you scan married people thoroughly looking for signs of happiness.

- you're bf/fiancee looks cuter everyday.

- you scour the www for wedding photographers.

- you secretly save up unusual wedding card designs.

- you find out the price of jewellery when out shopping for dishes.

- you know exactly what your ring should look like [and so does he :-) ].

- you know what kinds of dresses you will be wearing for your various functions.

[even if you don't know the colors yet]

- you chat with his Mom about what you'd like,what scares you or expectations.

- you can almost hear the sound of the music that will play as you prance down the red carpet.

- you can visualise the coffee table book of your pictures.

- you have mentally designed your home.

- you think of his family as your very own.

- the honeymoon stage of your relationship is over, you've been together for more than half a decade and you're still crazy about each other!

- Seeing other married people makes your stomach feel funny.

- wedding scenes or videos make you tear up.

- you and he make long term plans.

- you're looking forward to all the saris etc in your trousseau.

- you wonder about heels Vs flats with your outfits. You don't need heels as you're tall as it is, but they're glamorous. But there is the added risk of falling and being embarrassed...but somehow flats don't quite do it...

- you kind of know what flowers you want all over the place and they are so not roses.

- you know who you don't want there!!

- you wonder how long your honeymoon should last...and where your going.

- you so do not want a bun on your head.

- nor do you want the clown make up.

- in fact, to avoid looks related disasters , you've shortlisted looks and gone over them with him!

- you wonder if you'll hold hands while circling the fire... :-)

Let it be known this list could go on ad infinitum. But really its only an indicator of how ready you are to have a wedding, not a marriage... :-)

Why do people hate hospitals?

To me it has been home for a
long time. It's always been a place of wonder...

See, I don't understand why people hate hospitals...

majority of the sick people who go there recover. I always thought that was fantastic.

When did that stop being a good and wondrous thing ?

So we have to run around to get tests done and fees paid and everything seems so far apart... [you don't know what far is unless you've run around trying to get a patient discharged]. But the running around too is only to make one better, get tests, get reports... plus there is always the wheelchair for patients.

So the food sucks but...you win some you lose some. The Tea/coffee's not so bad...just make sure you ask them to give u 2 cups without water...there you go! Almost palatable!

There's always a JR to cater to your every need.

There's always a place to pray.

The beds are narrow and one has to be careful while turning...you don't want to roll right off.

No one enjoys being surrounded by sickness, festering wounds, fevers and etc. But take some comfort in the knowledge that they're being taken care of and will [God willing] recover...

for those who get sick watching blood... well you have it too you know...keeps you alive n kickin'! just beneath your skin.... ;)

I know its not a trip to the fun fair ... but a fun fair doesn't soothe your aches and pains and cure your illnesses does it ? Seems to me a trip to the hospital would sound better!!